Long Ago
by Lady Kiara
Summary: Quatre meets a friend from the colonies, but is she still a friend?
1. Default Chapter Title

Note: I do not own Gundam Wing, and I have no idea who does, so don't sue me. I'm just writing this because I was bored and I thought it was a neat idea.

Long Ago:

Chance Meeting

"Zoekurau," a voice from behind her asked, "is that really you? The dirty-blond haired girl spun around quickly to see a boy, about 15, staring in disbelief at her. She had been taking a bath at the waterfall in the woods, the one no one knew about. He had been strolling around on his afternoon walk. Zoekurau felt that she had seen him before, but where? 

He was blonde, blue eyes, and was wearing brown pants with a loose white shirt. Still, he looked at her in disbelief, as if he knew who she was, but she had no idea who he was.

"Who are you?" she slowly asked, as she started to reach for her towel. He, just then, realized that she was showering, and turned away, muttering excuses. Zoekurau secured her towel around her and reached for the gun she had hidden in a nearby rock. "WHO ARE YOU?" she asked once again, this time much more sternly.

"You don't remember me," he answered, shocked," it's me, Quatre." He faced Zoekurau, this time completely revealing himself, but still she did not recognize him. She eyed him suspiciously; it had been along time since she had trusted anyone. She aimed the weapon she had concealed in her hand at his head.

"How do you know me? I don't have any friends. Are you from OZ or the Alliance?" she asked. The gun was where he could see it; he began to step back.

"But I am your friend, your best friend. From the colonies," Quatre had no idea what had gotten into his friend. _She has changed so much after 6 years, is it possible she doesn't remember me? I had been so glad to see her after so long of being apart, but now I'm not sure if this is the Zoekurau James that had run to Earth from the colonies to save them so long ago._

"I have no friends, only enemies who have become allies." Was her answer, _She is too cold and mistrusting to be the friend who had gone. Then how had she changed,_ Quatre wondered, _or what caused her to?_

"I am a friend, from the colonies, don't you remember?" he asked once more, he wanted so badly to find out what had happened to her.

"Liar! " she cried, her voice was a mixture of fear, sadness, and anger, " liar! My family, my friends are all dead! They are dead, and floating in space! All because of me, me! I ran away from them, and they all died. You're an impersonator, and you will pay for lying about being my best friend! The Alliance and Oz and everyone else can go to hell! I am tired of being your lackey, and I will not tolerate it anymore, you understand! Now leave me alone, before I blow your head of!" Quatre had never seen Zoekurau like this, and what was this about everyone being dead? As far as he knew everyone in the colonies were as fine as can be expected. Who could have told her such a lie? Oz.

"I'm not an impersonator, I am Quatre, your best friend," he pleaded, but saw that it had no affect on her.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Leave me alone, I don't believe your lies," she yelled, shooting a round at him but purposely missing. 

"Ha, you don't want to kill me, you don't have to miss. I know you Zoekurau, it is me. Only I know your deadly shooting abilities." He said, although he was afraid of her shooting him, because she really did have deadly abilities with a gun.

"True, but many people have learned that over the last 4 years." She answered, still keeping the weapon in range of the stranger's head. The feeling in her heart that he could be telling the truth kept bothering her, she couldn't help but to hope that he was her long thought to be dead friend, she had missed him so much. _Quatre,_ she though, _oh Quatre is it true? Are you alive? No, he died a long time ago, after I was told to come here and steal military files to send them back to Dr. J. This is an imposter and he will pay for trying to trick me._ " Leave now and I will not kill you, that is if you swear to never tell anyone where you found me!"

"Please, Zoekurau, don't you see me, who I am?" Quatre was desperate. _How can I prove to you I am the real me? Long ago, before you left without any reason, you would have easily believed me. What happened to you?_

"No, you are an imposter, and you will die!" she yelled, on the verge of tears, even though she never cried, she didn't know how to. Memories from her past had begun to torment her. _No, they are all dead, you are dead! Why must this man torment me like this? What could be so important that the military would do something like this? They know that to mention my past is a deadly thing. Who is this stranger? And why is he here? Only a fool would come to me and do this, doesn't he know how powerful I am?_ "Leave me! Go back to the place you call home, and never return to here! If you do return I shall kill you and if you know of my abilities, then you know how easy it would be for me to do it, too."

"I will not leave until you say what has made you become the way you are! Zoekurau, what happened to you?" Quatre was about to lose all hope, _why can't you just tell me. Unless, this is an imposter, then how would she know that I am an imposter? And why would she feel so threatened by me? _"Are you an imposter?"

"How dare you say I'm an imposter, when you are the one who is playing the part of someone who is dead. And my best friend at that, how low are you? How sent you here, and why? What does your master wish for me to do? Huh? " She turned, and began to run. 

To nowhere, was where it seemed, and yet, she knew exactly where to go. Back into nowhere was where Quatre followed, past trees and bushes, just able to see her running, running, and then vanishing. He caught up to where he had last seen her, noticing a door, he thought to himself, _Is this where you have been the last six years? A shack, a small, pitiful shack, practically a hole in the ground; and yet it is much more then that, it is almost as if it is a palace. _Next to it there was a small patch of vegetables: carrots cabbage, and tomatoes. A window was just visible from underneath a wall of grapevines. The door as a small thing, she probably had to crotch way down to enter through it, and underneath if was a small mat. Most likely she had used it as a doormat, for what reason he didn't know. "Where are you?" he asked, trying his best to convince her to open the door. All he could hear was a small raspy breath coming from inside, but in quickly disappeared. 

He had gone way past giving up hope now, as he turned to go, he asked to no one in particular, " When can I see you again?"

" Never," was the answer in the air, " at least until I find out the truth." 

Note: 

Okay, how do you guys like it? This is my 2nd fanfic, and I hope you like it please review it for me. I don't really know what to do in the second chapter, so send ideas. Also, please do not yell at me if I spelled someone's name wrong, it's not like they spell their names on the TV screen.


	2. Default Chapter Title

Hello, this is the 2nd chapter of my story. I'm taking a few ideas that I got from the first chapter reviews and combing them. I would like to thank anyone who submitted an idea and/ or review. I do not own Gundam Wing, so don't sue me. Please take a little time to read my Ronin Warriors story, Circumstances, if you could I would really appreciate it. The third chapter was mistakenly put into this category, so you've probably already seen it. 

Just so you know, Zoekurau is a person a lot like Heero, she strives to be the perfect soldier and completes her missions to the best of her ability, she is definitely not weak. She is 16, and can take care of herself; in other words, she doesn't need saving, no offense to anyone. Also, she used to live in the colonies, and was told that all of her family and friends had died after she left, this was when she was 10. You'll learn more about all of this later in this chapter, so read on and please review when you are done.

Oh, and before I forget, Quatre has green eyes, not blue (or are they gray, I can't tell), like I said earlier and I'm think the pilots are about 16 or 17, not 15.

Okay, today is April 3, and I want to know who Quatre freaked out with that laugh of his and who thinks he's going insane. I believe both are true, he scared me, man, and don't think I'm a wimp, 'cause I'm not! That was just too freaky for me, it was just unearthly! This isn't the day I started to write this, that was about three weeks ago. I'm a spurt writer!! 

****

Long Ago:

Battle Tactics

It had been three days since her meeting with the so- called Quatre she had run from, Zoekurau wasn't usually this upset by strange visitors. The Alliance, OZ, and Romeoff had sent them all the time, trying to add her services to theirs long lists, but never had they been so moved to pull something up from her past. Then again, as far as they knew she didn't have one, Zoekurau James had just suddenly appeared five years ago. Still, the fact that they had sent him to impersonate her best friend was far too despicable. 

-------------------Lake Victoria Base------------

Another Aries dropped to the ground in a huge explosion. "Red leader One," a petrified man signaled his commander, "A strange mobile suit has just downed six Aries troops in ten minutes, what should we do?"

"Continue attack," Red leader One replied. _This isn't possible, six Aries troops in ten minutes! _"Are you sure that this is not a Gundam? It moves and acts just like one," he muttered the last words under his breath.

"Yes, the computer can find no gundanium alloy on the suit, although it was carrying large amounts before it was attacked" the man replied to his officer. Three more Aries exploded, as the screams died in the wind the strange suit stopped and the driver stepped out, thinking no one had survived. 

"Hit him with everything you've got!" the commander yelled, the pilot turned as the troops launched their attacks. "Wait, he's got something in his hand, be careful," but it was too late, the pilot pressed the button on the device and the troops were nearly blown away, only two were left after the bombs were released from the ground.

"Run," one of the two yelled, but the strange suit's pilot had already reentered the suit and began to attack the remainders. In two easy laser shots, nothing was left of the Alliances Aries troops.

"That was easy enough," the pilot smiled, "now to get those files." Once again, the pilot left the suit, and began to run towards a deserted building, when the Leo back-up suits appeared. "Damn, can't complete missions as easy as you used to, huh. Oh, well, more practice for me. "Boom! A Gundam suddenly appeared on the horizon, immediately beginning to eliminate the Leos. "Great, more pretty boys to deal with, must be from OZ." Another shot, and the Leos had been destroyed, Wufei turned towards the strange suit inside his Gundam, its pilot had just entered the cockpit when he turned.

"Why are you here?" he sneered.

"To gather some information," a female voice came from the suit. Wufei looked on in surprise; a _woman_ did all this?

"Who sent you?"

"A little bird," the voice mocked him, he hated to be teased.

"Surrender, you will pay for the damage OZ has caused!"

"Oh, I'm scared," there was no emotion in the pilot's voice. Wufei wondered if this pilot had any connections to Heero, she certainly sounded like him.

"You should be," Wufei could tell this was no OZ pilot, but then were had she learned to fight like this? Trowa touched down beside him. "Hey, you ever seen this guy before?"

"I don't believe that I am a _guy_, at least last I checked I wasn't," Trowa glanced at the stranger voice that was coming from an interesting suit. It wasn't terribly large, but good-sized, mainly a deep green color, and it had a large purple orb it the middle of it's body. There was a shield that held a sword like Heero's on its right arm, and a small cannon on the left, which apparently shot rather powerful lasers from them.

"Nope, I haven't, is it one of those new prototypes," Trowa began to scan the suit on his computer, but the computer couldn't find any info on it, or seem to be able to hook up to it.

"Oh, is your computer having trouble," the mocking voice asked.

"Who are you?"

"Who are _you_?"

"What's your problem?" Wufei's arrogance had begun to surface. The pilot stepped out of her suit, revealing a slender girl with dirty-blonde hair and a teasing smile played across her lips, her green eyes alive with mischief. She jumped down and began to walk towards the building again. A missile left Wufei's suit, hitting the building and completely destroying it.

"Shit! What was that for?" she glared at the Gundam, Wufei stepped out followed by Trowa.

"Just making sure you don't something that you'll regret," now a smile crossed his lips.

"You imbecile! I've been planning three months for this, three months! And then you go and blow the whole thing up! What the hell is wrong with you huh? I already told you that I'm just getting some information," she had practically exploded, only she hadn't, her face had remained the same, emotionless.

"I was completing a mission," Wufei announced, rather proudly.

"Fine, I was just about to do the same thing," she sneered.

"Oh, for who?"

"The colonies, bastard!" she fired three lasers at Wufei, hitting his Gundam with deadly accuracy, knocking it to the ground.  


"The colonies? What! Who are you?" Trowa's eyes bulged out of his face.

"Someone of no consequence, and who is the last person I can permit you to see."

"Well, we will be the last people you see."

"Ha! Arrogance is a waste of time."

"Watch your tongue, it could be your end."

"That's very likely, I'm sure," she still mocked him, Wufei's knew his arrogance could get the better of him if he wasn't careful.

"Anyway, if you don't mind, I'll just be on my way to the main computer to get any files _you_ haven't destroyed," the girl turned towards another building a little farther off. 

"What exactly are you looking for?" Trowa had been growing more curious as to who this girl was, and where she got off thinking she was better than he was, somehow she reminded him of someone he had briefly met a long time ago.

"You're Gundams, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Let's just say, that if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be here right now. So, I'd appreciate it if you could it through your thick skull that I am an ally to the colonies." Another troop of Leos appeared in the distance, "and could ya take care of them while your pondering on whether to believe me or not."

"I guess," he slowly answered, Wufei had already entered his Gundam and was headed towards them as Trowa entered Heavy-arms and took off. The two boys quickly took care of the approaching suits, but when they returned the stranger had already left. 

"How wise of a choice do you think it was to trust a woman?" Wufei's face appeared on the screen in front of Trowa.

"I don't know, but I guess we'll see soon."

"You ever heard of her before, or that weird suit?"

"No, she must have built it herself or something. Do you think she could be a Gundam?"

"She didn't look like one, but then again, who can really tell what anything is."

"Let's get back to the others and see if the others know anything." The two headed off as the stranger also took off towards her own home, towards a heavily wooded part of the region. 

-----------With the rest of the guys-----------------

"That sounds like that story pilots tell other ones, kinda like a ghost story, that I once heard. It was about this strange mobile suit, that travels around like a shadow. No one really believes it exists because no one who has supposedly met up with it ever survives the encounter. They say that a girl will always be caught lurking around and demanding admittance to top secret military files before the thing appears, but the girl has never looked the same twice. They call it the Rebel Shadow and some used to think it was a type of early mobile suit. It usually is seen caring it around bunches of gundanium," Duo exclaimed, Trowa had just given a detailed description of the strange suit, its pilot, and what the pilot had done. As soon as they had reached their destination, Wufei had sat down on the floor in a yoga fashion and began to do what looked like meditating.

"Maybe, but what about the fact that she said she was from the colonies?" Heero noted. 

"Could she be like us, sent to make sure the colonies stayed out of danger," Trowa looked up hopefully; he did not want an enemy like this to deal with.

"No, more likely she was sent by someone else, an unknown enemy, at least so far," Duo was enjoying himself, he always liked to meet a new girl, especially if she was cute. "So, what we gonna do?"

"Nothing, just leave her alone, she doesn't want anybody near her," Quatre spoke up, suprising the rest of the guys, until now he had just sat there doing nothing.

"What do you mean," Wufei questioned, "we can't just let her do as she pleases."

"Yes, we can, and we will."

"You know something, what is it," Duo nudged Quatre in his arm, hard.

"So, I know who she is and where to find her, that doesn't mean I'm going to betray her." Quatre began to walk out of the room, but Heero blocked his way.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, she was my best friend back in the colonies, and she left to try and save them."

"What?!"

"What the hell are you talking about, you knew the bitch that caused all of that damage to my mobile suit!" Wufei was practically screaming, and he looked like he was going to take all of his anger out on Quatre.

"Dude! You know where she is, let's go." Duo jumped up to hold back Wufei, his face was contorted into a hilarious, going-to-split-my-sides expression as he did his best to hold the hornet in his arms.

"I can't," Quatre looked away from his companions, he knew she would most likely kill him if he did. "She isn't what she used to be, she never used to act like she is now."

"Is there anyone else with her," Trowa was looking towards the base he had just been at, " if there are five of us, we should be able to take one of her."

"Don't be to sure," Quatre truly did not want to take his friends to Zoekurau. "Zoekurau has deadly accuracy with guns, and she has two black belts, at least she did when she was ten."

"Zoekurau?" Trowa asked, as though he had heard the name before but couldn't place his finger on it._ Where have I heard that name before?_

"Her name is Zoekurau James."

"I've heard that name before, where was it," Heero pondered, "wait, she was a trainer at the base I was sent from. Zoekurau James… she was a master at weaponry."

"Yep, that was probably her."

"Well, take us to her," Duo still wanted badly to meet this amazing girl, who he hoped would develop a crush on him.

"I already told you that I can't."

"Why?"

"She wouldn't even allow me to get within ten feet of her three days ago."

"So?"

"She tried to kill me."

"I thought she was your best friend?"

"She thinks I'm dead."

"That is a drawback, but let's go anyway! What's the worst she could do?"

"She could gut us from head to toe and then hang us out to dry in about ten, twenty minutes flat."

"That's… not… good."

"Still, we need to find her and see if she'll join up with us, it sounds like she'd be a good member to have on the team," Heero announced as Quatre looked on with saddened eyes.

"Fine, but you have to let me talk to her. If she doesn't trust you, if she can trust anyone, you're dead meat. And you'll be dead in two seconds if you piss her off," Quatre took the guys outside, where they loaded up into a jeep and Quatre drove off to where he had run into his friend a few days ago.

------------------------------Rebel Shadow's base---------------------------------

Zoekurau arrived at her base in the woods an hour after she had left the demolished base, after pressing in a few commands the floor of the surrounding woods opened up, revealing an underground base. She landed Rebel Shadow and inspected its damage; then removing the files she had taken from the main computer she walked over to a computer and inserted the disk. Bringing up the saved information, she began the process of sending anything of importance to Dr. J, she also attached an e-mail asking if he had already sent the Gundams to Earth, and for any info he had on them to be sent to her. Zoekurau decided to try and track the pilots down, and get anything she could from them, Dr. J didn't tell her much in his e-mails. 

At second glance, she saw her mobile suit had more damage than she thought and that it couldn't be taken out again until it was repaired. After searching through a pile of old parts, she found the hidden gundanium parts she had smuggled out of another base. Two or three days were needed to repair the suit, so she decided to work for half an hour and then do the rest after dinner.

--------------------------The waterfall-------------------------

"Cool, a waterfall!" Duo exclaimed as the five boys reached the waterfall where Quatre had met his friend three days ago. They spread out to look for anything that gave a hint as to which direction to go, Quatre hadn't noticed in the rush he had been in. "I think I found something! At least I don't think guns grow in forests."

"This looks like the one she had been carrying," Quatre looked hopefully discouraged in the direction it was leading.

"Well, let's get to it. Don't want to reach her to late in the day," Heero trudged on. The others followed him faithfully, except Wufei, who seemed to want nothing and everything to do with this Zoekurau James. He wanted to see this woman who had practically destroyed his suit, and yet, he was almost, that's right almost, afraid of what she might do if they found her. How would she react? Would she kill them all, like Quatre thought, or would she run from them like before? 

In half an hour's time, they had reached the seemingly abandoned shack, where Quatre had left the pursuit of Zoekurau. Heero solemnly stepped up to the door and reached out to knock but was stopped by Quatre. "Remember, she has deadly abilities, and can do just about anything," Heero nodded in compliance, as he reached out and knocked lightly at the door. A slight rustle came from inside, but the door remained as it was. Slowly, Heero opened the door…

---------------- Fifteen minutes ago--------------------

_I guess I might have been a little harsh on Quatre the other day. Wait, he's dead, and that impersonator deserved what he got! But if he should come back, perhaps I should just try and see if it is him. Dr. J hasn't always been intirely honest with me, who says he wasn't lying about this. He probably just wanted me to stop focusing on my family, and more on my skills as a soldier. Oh, if only I knew if you all were alive, I would give all this hopeless work. _Zoekurau had been thinking about her family since Quatre had seen her, she couldn't get her mind off the fact that her family and friends in the colonies could still be alive, and that they were missing her. _If only I could be sure. Huh, it's funny how worked up you can become over something you thought you lost, all these years I've been fighting to get revenge on the murders of my loved ones, but they had never really died. As soon as I learn the truth I will either run back to you all, or perish for you. Either way, I'll be with you soon, hopefully._

Man, am I hungry! Guess my half-hour is up, although I think that I've done 'bout an hour's worth. Well, I guess I might as well start dinner, although I don't see why, I'm not cooking for anyone except myself. She walked into the kitchen, leaving all of her work behind her. She looked into the small cooler that she kept as a refrigerator and pulled out a hunk of turkey. Pulling out a frying pan, she placed the meat into it and turned on the stove; she added carrots, onions, and a few green beans into the frying pan. A voice outside the door was mumbling something. Zoekurau quickly picked out Quatre and grabbed a 46 caliber; someone knocked on the door. She positioned herself in a small crate, about three feet in dimension, as the door slowly opened. Outside, a tall boy of about seventeen with brown hair that spiked out it all direction and brown eyes stood peering in at the sad site. 

--------------Outside----------------------------

"Be careful!" Quatre whispered fiercely, "she's in there alright, I can sense her."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Be afraid of a woman?" Wufei looked away arrogantly, he was not about to let the others know he was a little frightened. 

"How can you know she's in there? It's so dark," Trowa asked as he played with a small camera he had noticed on the side of the building. A shot rang out as he hissed in pain; a bullet had grazed his hand, nearly taking it off.

"Leave that alone," a voice said. Trowa jumped back, wringing his injured hand. The others looked on in astonishment as the girl Trowa and Wufei had met up with stepped out of her hiding place, "I've worked to hard to have you destroy me, I don't have to miss, and next time I won't."

"I believe you and you know it," Quatre extended his hand towards Zoekurau, but she only sniffed haughtily at it. "Please, you have to believe me! Your family is alive and so am I. I'm standing in front of you right now, aren't I?"

"I told you never to return to this place, do you wish to die?" Zoekurau turned and began to leave the room, but was stopped by Quatre putting his hand on her shoulder. She quickly one-eightyed and pointed her weapon at his head.

"Hey, he didn't do nothing to you!" Duo rang out, bursting in between Zoekurau and Quatre. He soon found the gun also pointed at him as well. He gulped a few times to calm his nerves.

"I told you to leave!" Zoekurau's hand nearly pulled the trigger when Trowa spoke up.

"What's your problem, we're not trying to hurt you." She glanced sideways at him, immediately recognizing him from the battle and from a memory. Smiling, she backed away from the two in front of her; she walked towards him.

"Don't you get it? I'm just the same as you are, only I don't allow mistakes to be made." She leaned close to him, almost as if she was going to kiss him, only she spat in his face. She had been speaking of their battle; he remembered how she had disappeared when he had returned. Zoekurau was mocking him, as she always had. "I don't allow enemies to escape, and I don't threaten those who are stronger than I am."

"I thought you said arrogance was a waste of time" Wufei snorted. Zoekurau turned towards him, letting a knife from a nearby counter go unnoticed into her hand.

"Yes, yes, I suppose did, but that is all you have. Time," she threatened him. The concealed object found its way to Wufei's collar, nearly catching a vital artery. Catching him off-guard, she quickly threw a salad fork into his thigh. He gasped in pain as he sank to the floor.

"I told you not to piss her off," an annoyed Quatre helped his friend to his feet, "now she's just going to get worse. You don't know how she can react when she's mad, it's one of the scariest things I've ever seen."

"Yeah, c'mon, her? Dangerous? Who's gonna believe that, she looks like an angel! How could anybody tha-" Duo's words were cut off by another shot form Zoekurau's caliber. The bullet had, once again, just grazed his throat, but it was close enough for him to know that she meant business.

"I'm no chick!" she retorted when Duo came out of the I-can't-believe-she-really-tried-to-kill-me! -Me-the-fabulous-Duo stage. "Look, either tell why the hell you came here, or get the hell out of my HOUSE!"

"Why don't you believe me when I say that I'm myself?" Quatre stunned her for a second with his begging.

"I already told you everything you need to know, or that you could know." She shoved Trowa out of the way as she made her way to Heero, who had backed into a corner, observing everything that had happened. "Heero Yuy, right?"

"Yeah, why do you care," he turned his head. Slightly shaking her head, Zoekurau walked away. Stopping two feet away from where she had started and turned back towards him. "Gotta problem?"

"No, I just can't believe one of my students would ever try to confront me," she smirked. Heero snorted at her. "I always thought I had taught you never to face something you could not defeat."

"Humph," he looked out a window at the small garden she had kept so she didn't have to appear in public. "You are not weak, that is true, but you do have your weaknesses."

"Really, what would you know of that?" she feigned a slight interest, wanting to know how well she had taught her students in the ways of deception.

"You have always weakened at the notion of your past."

"Good," she said thoughtfully, "but not enough."

"Humph."

"You always were quite thoughtful, I guess you were worrying about how to make your quest seem more worthy?"

"Worthy? What would you know of that?"

"I know that you are here to fulfil a mission, one that is very similar to mine."

"Oh, and what would your "mission" be?"

"Your friends haven't told you? I'm surprised, perhaps they aren't the cowards I thought them to be." 

"Cowards? Who you callin' cowards?' Trowa jumped up, fire in his eyes.   


"Oh, dear, have I hurt your feelings," she said smpyathetically, "good, now leave."

"No way," Wufei had risen to his feet, with the help of Quatre, "not… until… you … tell…us…who …you are."

"Zoekurau James, that's it, nothing else."

"Look, I already told them everything," Quatre smiled at her, but she did not return it.

Pursing her lips, she continued to try and get the boys out of her home, "Whatever, if you know everything, why are you still here?"

"Because, I want to know what happened to you," Quatre had emotions flowing out of his ears, not literally though.

"Nothing has happened to me."

"But you're so cold now!" tears began to fill his eyes as memories flooded into his mind.

"Yes, well, war does many things to a person."

"Isn't there anything that could prove to you that I am who I say I am?" he pleaded, trying his best not to lose his head.

"No…. well," she tilted her head in thought, "the Quatre I knew could always make me laugh. I haven't laughed since he died though; I can't laugh anymore because of it. I'm sure, if anyone could make me laugh it would be him, especially about that one time when we were five-"

"And we went into the teacher's lounge on accident, and somehow put an iguana in Mrs. Harris's purse. She ran screaming out of the room, and didn't go anywhere near it for two weeks, and we were never caught!" Both Quatre and Zoekurau began to giggle at the memory, along with the others.

"Oh, Quatre, my Quatre, why didn't you try to find me?" she ran to him, picked him up and suprisingly twirled him around a few times.

"I did, but there was no trace of you anywhere." They clang to each other as if their lives depended upon it. The others just stared on it amazement. They had never seen Quatre act like this, and Zoekurau definitely wasn't acting like she had been.

"Come, I want to show you something!" she ran towards a door at the back of the kitchen, which stood slightly ajar. The others followed, right behind her, down a flight of stairs, and into a large underground base. The mobile suit she had been piloting lay on the ground with a number of parts and tools near it. The five pilots stood in utter amazement at the size of the base, and that Zoekurau was the only person who used it. "Well, do you think I've done all right for a loner?" her voice was filled with joy, as she turned around, arms spread open.

"I'll tell you as soon a I get over the shock of seeing this," Quatre managed to say; he and the others also turned around, but not to show off. One, at a time, they all regained their senses.

Noticing the e-mail on the computer, Heero was the first to speak, "You know Dr. J?"

"Yes, he is the one who first sent me into training, to Earth, and sends me my missions." Zoekurau smiled for one of the first times.

"Hmm, why exactly are you here?"

"Well, I'll tell you when that hazing thing happens…"

****

A haze covers the screen; it clears in Colony 3, six years ago…

"Who are you?" a ten-year-old Zoekurau asked the image on her computer screen. A few minutes ago, a strange man with long white hair and goggles over his eyes had appeared on the monitor. He was saying something about going to an academy and becoming a solider for the colonies. She had listened in silence, until now.

"My name is not important, I need you to do as I say though. The Alliance will never suspect a female spy. Please come to the main computer at 800 hours tomorrow morning, a man in blue will show you into a car, go with him, he will lead you to me. The colonies are depending on you." The image disappeared; it had not been on long enough to track. 

She sat in silence for a minute, thinking about what she had just been told to do. _How does this man know me and why does he want me to go away from my family? I don't want to leave them all behind, but if the colonies are depending on me then I have to. But what about mother and father and my brothers and sister? What about Quatre and Gwenyth and John? What about school and, and, and everything else? No, I must go, but how will everyone take it? I don't want to hurt anyone! I will leave a note for them, that's it! A note! Well, I guess I better prepare myself to go to the main computer office tomorrow. Hmm, I sure am gonna miss everybody!_

S he began to pack a small backpack with clothes, pictures of her friends and family, and a little star locket that Quatre had given her for her last birthday. She treasured this more than anything in the world. It had a purple orb n the middle, surrounded by a blue ring, and green tips. Inside there was a picture of her best friend and on the other side was Gwenyth, another friend.

Gwenyth was the same age as she was, had electric blue hair, and bright amber-colored eyes. Their friends often called her and Zoekurau twins because they had always been seen together. John was a year older and her orphaned cousin, but still had a lot of fun hanging out with her and her friends; he had short black hair and hazy blue eyes. 

The next morning, Zoekurau got up before anyone else, she took her backpack and left a note saying that she had gone to try and save the colonies and that no one was to try and follow her. She quickly made her way to the main computer, arriving half an hour before she needed to be there, so she waited, all the while fingering the locket, thinking of how she would miss the people she was leaving behind.

A black convertible drove up to where she was sitting, a boy stepped out. He couldn't have been more than twelve years old; his hair was a medium-brown, which covered his left eye, and green eyes. His suit was a midnight blue, including his shirt and tie. "Zoekurau James?" he asked, his voice had a curious note in it. 

__

He must not know why I'm here Zoekurau thought to herself. "Yes, that's me, are you the man whose supposed to pick me up?"

"Yeah, please step into the car and we can continue on our way," he turned and opened the door for her. 

As she stepped in she asked, "Where are we going?" The question had been nagging at her since she had gotten the order to come here.

"I'm not sure, I'm just following orders. The driver knows, but he doesn't seem to talk much," the boy replied as they sat down inside, and the car drove off.

"Hmm, what is your name?"

"Trowa, Trowa Barton. I know who you are, but why you're here…" he made a circling guesture with his hand as he said the last part, ending with it pointing at her.

"Don't ask me, I'm just following orders, too."

"So, do you know why Dr. J wants you?"

"Dr. J?" she was getting confused, _who is Dr. J?_

"Umm, never mind. Where are ya from?"

"Well, we're actually passing my house right now," she pointed at a home which had police cars swarming all the front lawn, "oh, mother must be worried sick."

"Don't worry about it, she'll be fine. At least you have someone who is sorry your gone," he looked at the house with sadness filling his eyes.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, I'm sure your mother misses you," she placed her hand on his arm, he looked at it.

"No, I don't have a mother, I'm an orphan."

"Oh, umm, sorry, I didn't know. I don't mean this pityingly but, I'm sorry." She smiled at him, he returned it, and for a moment she thought she might kiss him, but was stopped by the driver.

"You two behave yourselves, Dr. J won't like it if you fool around with his solider, Trowa."

"Yes, sir." Trowa looked at his feet, blushing.

"Soldier? Who's Dr. J's soldier?" Zoekurau asked, she still felt that everyone knew the answers except her.

"You are, he wanted you to be trained as a soldier," Trowa looked at her puzzled.

"What?! I'm no soldier!"

"Well, he seems to thing you'd make an excellent one. Dr. J has been watching you for the last two years or so."

"Really? Huh, just one weird thing after another today."

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it. Hey, we're here!"

They pulled up to an abandoned carport. Zoekurau raised an eyebrow in an are-you-sure way. Up front, the driver pushed a tiny yellow button, causing a door to open. Trowa silently laughed at Zoekurau's surprised expression. They pulled in after checking to see if anyone was behind them. Trowa opened the door for her again, and they stepped out into a place that seemed as if it would fall apart at any minute. An elevator door opened on the other side of the parking lot, and the man with the white hair and the goggles stepped out. "Hello, Zoekurau. It is good to finally meet you in person. Come, I will reveal all." She followed him into the elevator with Trowa.

The elevator arrived a few minutes later on the seventh floor. Trowa began to step out and Zoekurau followed but was stopped by Dr. J. "What aren't we supposed to get out? He is."

"No, we have to go up another floor," the man replied. Zoekurau pursed her lips together, and said goodbye to Trowa, hoping she would meet him again, of course she never did although she always watched for him in the halls.

"Why do you want me to be a solider? I'm only ten," she questioned Dr. J when the exited the elevator. He turned down a small corridor. 

"You have the natural skills of one, and it will be easier to bring you up as a solider." Opening a door on their left, he went into his office, she followed eagerly. Inside were a desk and a large computer that he stored all information in. A window looked out upon the training area, where many men were taking up different types of weapons and had begun to fight. Like most offices, a fern set on a high table was backed into a far corner and a file cabinet was its neighbor. "I need someone who won't be afraid to go to Earth and send back military files that we aren't allowed access to at the present time."

"Why me? I just want a normal life, I mean, I'm perfectly happy as it is."

"Then why did you come here?" He knew that even though she was happy on the outside, she had always felt she didn't belong where she was now.

"I…I don't really know, something just pushed me to come here." She stared out of the window to the training field; a small smile crossed her face. _I almost feel like I belong here, why is that? _

"You're just like your mother, you know that?"

"What?! How do you know mom?"

"She was a solider once, but your father brought her back to reality. She was very good, that's why I decided to watch you, to see if you had her spirit. I knew that if you did, all I would have to do is train it." He glanced out the window now, his love for the fair Glenisy came swarming back to him, _she looks just like her mother, too, and whoever wins her will be very lucky. _"Do you think you want to become a solider for the colonies, you'll most likely never see your family again."

"Umm," she looked down in deep thought. _I don't know if I'm ready to do this. What if I'm not? What if I don't make a good solider? What if I…_

"I know you must have about a thousand what ifs running through your mind by now." Dr. J chuckled.

"Yes, but I think I'm ready to help you the best that I can."

"Good, I'll take you to meet your roommates." 

****

For the next year, Zoekurau spent her time training she was then sent to the academy where Heero had met her. After about two years teaching she was sent to Earth, where she began to steal secret files and send them back to Dr. J.

"That's where I remembered you from," Trowa shook his head in an approving way. They had sat down and listened intently to Zoekurau's reasons for being here.

"Who told you we had died though, I still don't understand that?" Quatre asked.

"Do you want to do that hazy thing again, or should I just tell you?" Zoekurau teased him.

"Umm, the hazy thing. It's really fun!"

"What's with that narrator guy? How come his lines are in bold!" Wufei snorted in jealousy.

****

Because I'm lucky and control the whole story, that's why! In the academy, after school, in her room…

"Hello, I'm calling for Dr. J," Zoekurau sat on her emerald green loveseat with the phone to her ear. This was the third time she had tried to call him in the last twenty-four hours; she wanted an up-date on her family.

"May I ask who is calling, please," the receptionist asked. She had a pleasant voice, and sounded like she had just started her shift.   


"Kiara Kisen," Zoekurau answered, using her file name in case the line was being tapped. J had always had her do this, why, she didn't really know. Looking at the clock, she realized she didn't have much time before she had to go teach one of her classes.

She had learned many things in the last year, about how to fend for herself one Earth. Now, Dr. J had sent her to the academy to teach while they waited for the right time to attack. There, she taught self-defense, deception, and ways to out-smart your enemies. The class she was going to was one of the many technique classes she had begun to teach, one with a certain student named Heero Yuy. He had never really seemed to be paying attention in the class, but got the highest grades. She had always wondered where he had come from, being that he had just appeared one day, like her.

"Hello, Zoekurau. Is there a reason you have been trying so hard to reach me?" Dr. J answered the call with a smile on his face. Zoekurau had done very well so far, only, she thought of her family far too much. Earlier, she had made him promise to keep and eye on them and to give her up-dates on how they were doing. He thought that this would only distract her from what she was supposed to be concentrating on.

"Yes, I was wondering if you know how my family is doing, especially my new little brother, Teine." 

"Oh, you haven't seen the news recently?" He asked, knowing perfectly well she barely ever watched the news or read a paper.

"No, why?" worry filled her voice.

"There's been another bombing, I'm afraid they've all died," his voice came clearly over the phone, but Zoekurau hardly heard it. She had expected this might happen at some point, but never like this. _Of course everyone would have died, _she thought,_ but why now? Why did Teine have to die so soon?_ "Are you still there?"

"Yes," she whispered through the pain that was ripping her apart, "I have a class, I better go now."

"Zoekurau? Are you going to be alright?"

"When have I not been," she joked.

"Wait, please you have to…" she hung up the phone and dialed the number of the main office.

"Hello, Main Office, how may I help you, Miss James?" the secretary's cheery voice only made Zoekurau sadder.

"Umm, yes, umm, I'm afraid I won't be able to teach any of my classes for the rest of the day. Could you get a sub for me, please, I would truly appreciate it?" she held her head, it was throbbing in agony. Hanging up the phone, she leaned back into the couch. Her insides felt as if they would rip themselves in two at any second. "Mother, Father, Teine, who could they?" she cried, it echoed through the halls, alerting anyone within them. A surprised Heero knocked on the door; he had wanted to talk to her about an assignment he had gotten an A- on, not his best work.

"Miss James, are you okay," he asked through he door he heard muffled sobs. 

Not a tear fell from Zoekurau's face as she answered unsteadily, "I'm fine, but I can't help you right now, so please come back later."

"You sure," he asked, knowing that she did want someone, but felt that no one could come.

"Damnmit you, just go away," she yelled. He slowly pushed the unlocked door open, showing her nearly hysterical form on the loveseat. She glanced at his form moving closer to her, but she didn't care. Nothing seemed to matter now that everything she had once known was dead or destroyed, there was no way to ever go home again now.

Heero placed his hand on her heaving shoulder, steadying it for a moment, "What's up?" This was one of his few "caring" moments. Sitting next to her, he put his right arm around her waist and his left on an empty shoulder. Zoekurau leaned against him, just glad that someone was there to hold her. _Just like Quatre used to_, she thought, her moans increased as memories continued to envelop her.

"My world is crashing down around me," she whispered. Heero looked at her funny,_ She's younger than me, has more experience than me, is teaching me, and has more problems than me! What else can she beat me at?_ He rubbed her back in a comforting way, hoping no one decided to look in on Zoekurau.

"What do you mean," he asked.

"I can't tell you, let alone anyone really," she sighed, and then quickly noticed that Heero was there and that it wasn't her imagination. "Oh, umm, I sorry you had to see-," she sputtered, standing up suddenly, "you should go on to your next class, I would go with you but I have something that I need to take care of immediately." She literally shoved him out the door and locked it behind him. After just staring at the door for a minute, Heero turned and headed off to his next class.

THE NEXT DAY…

"Zoekurau? How are you?" Dr. J's comforting voice came out of the phone.

"I'm fine, you?" she asked, fingering the cord in her hand. She had hoped she had just had a nightmare for the last twenty-four hours and that Dr. J had called to give her an up-date on her family, of course, she was wrong.

"I'm truly sorry for having to tell you that yesterday," he continued, it wasn't his problem that they had died, " but I do have some good news for you."

"Did they find one of them alive?" she knew it wasn't true, but she couldn't help wishing.

"No, we finally found a way to get you to Earth," now his voice filled with happiness, but Zoekurau only grew sadder.

"Oh," she said quietly.

"Yes, I've e-mailed you all the information, we'll be seeing you soon. Ta-ta for now!" the phone on the other end hung up, leaving Zoekurau with nothing but the content drone of the dial tone. She went over to the computer to download the emailed information.

****

And now! Back to the future!

"Ha, ha very funny!" Wufei snorted again.

****

Well I thought so, so there!

"Oh, shut up!"

I could kill you right now, you know that! Come 'ere you little…

"Hey, both of ya, shut up, this is my flashback!" Zoekurau yelled. 

Both apologized, "Sorry! Sorry!"

"That's better, I'm done now." She said matter-a-factly. Duo and Trowa giggled, Heero stared into space trying to remember the day he had just seen, and Quatre looked at Zoekurau like she was an angel.

"I don't remember anything about being in your room," Heero said, deep in thought.

"Yeah, well, you were there. I have a pretty good memory," Zoekurau answered; she walked over to her mobile suit and picket up a socket wrench. As she worked on the left arm, Trowa came over and began work on its torso. "Thanks," she said to him, not sure if this was a good thing or not.

"It's okay, I'm not going to dismantle it," he answered.

"Looks like you need a new discombobulater thingy," Duo said after glancing at the suit that lay on the floor.

"A what?"

"Umm, never mind, I'll just take care of it," he said, blushing at the fact that he had just embarrassed himself in front of Zoekurau.

"You guys got anywhere to go tonight, like a place to sleep?" Zoekurau asked, hoping that they didn't so she could finally get a friend or two. _Duo may be a total baka, but he's really sweet. Wufei is just too uptight and arrogant for his own good. Trowa is definitely a gentleman if I ever saw one. Heero is quiet, but that just shows that he is thinking and he's okay, except he needs to have more fun! So does Trowa! Hmm, if they I stay I can ruff 'em up a little! And get to catch up with Quatre, this almost seems to be to good to be true! _She thought to herself as a smile dawned on her face.

"Not really, why?" Duo commented, seeing what she was getting at.

"Ya wanna stay here?"

"Sure," they all instantaneously agreed. She took them to another part of the base, into the rooms she kept for no reason at all, she just had this feeling she would need them some day, and here she was, using them. Noticing that they were one room short, she offered her room to Trowa, he tried to refuse, but she insisted.

"Are you sure, I mean, I don't want to force anyone out, except Duo that is," Trowa asked. He wasn't used to girls, even if Catherine did always hang around him.

"Hey!" Duo threw his pillow at him and Trowa easily caught it.

"Don't worry, there's a spare under it. It isn't as comfy though," she knew that Trowa wasn't a complete goody-two-shoes. He would take the bed, without her having to shove it down his throat, even if she was prepared to. Looking at her uneasily he accepted.

"Goody, I finally get to have a sleepover!" she yelled, the others just laughed at her. She was starting to come out of her hard shell and resurface, as the child she was buried as. Quatre thought to himself, _why is she acting like this? It's almost as if she was ten again._ Indeed she was, bouncing around in the kitchen while she was making dinner, hardly able to contain her excitement. 

"What drugs are you on, I want some," Duo smiled at her, _finally, someone like me._

"It's called finding your inner child," she came over to him and pecked his cheek. Duo stood in amazement that a girl had actually kissed him. "Earth to Duo," Zoekurau knocked on his head after he had just stood there for five minutes. He landed and smiled, then left to go tell Wufei about his experience and to gloat. 

Quatre walked in as he left, looked at him as if Duo was an alien come to get his brain for scientific experiments, "What did you do to him?" immediately accusing Zoekurau. She always played tricks and made fools of people when she could. 

Looking innocent, she replied, "Why, Quatre, what ever do you mean?" He sniffed in frustration, _she never did own up to anything,_ he thought.

"Duo, what did you do to him, his brain seems to have shrunk even more."

"Ha, ha, very funny, Quatre," Duo retorted from the other room. Zoekurau and Quatre began to laugh, causing Duo to get even madder, "Yeah, just laugh your head off, Quatre, but your girlfriend here likes me, so there!"

"Girlfriend, who said she was my girlfriend?"

"Umm…"

"Uh, huh."

"Well, she still kissed me!"

"So, at least I got a good reaction out of you, some people," Zoekurau said, looking at Quatre, "run like hell is behind them if you kiss 'em."

"Hey, I was nine, girls were gross!" Quatre defended, but the battle was already lost.

"Yeah, sure!" Quatre chased after Duo, determined to stop the teasing.

Dinner wasn't everything the guys expected, but was still great. Zoekurau did her best to scrap together all she could, which was a couple hunks of turkey and vegetables. Duo complained the most; he was shut up by a sharp kick from Heero, who ate in silence. They chatted through dinner's meager helpings with smiles, about politics (would you be? I'd die) and missions. It ended on the topic of Zoekurau joining up with them and she agreed; she needed to be closer to humanity if she was fighting for it.

It was half past three in the morning when they decided to go to bed; they were going to help Zoekurau move out later that day. Trowa left the room to let Zoekurau change and came back to find right in the middle of it.

"Oh, umm, ah, I'm really sorry," he mumbled after walking in on her. She sat in a pair of blue drawstring pants, and she had just finished putting on her spaghetti strap tank top.

"That's okay, believe it or not, I'm kinda used to having no privacy. You wouldn't believe how many people walk in on you here, weird huh?" she laughed at the thought.

"I guess, doesn't seem like you would get many visitors," he agreed, sitting down on his bed.

"Freaky, yeah. But it's mostly the Alliance, OZ, or Romenoff, they're always trying to get me to forget why I'm here," she led down with her hands behind her head. Turning, she asked, "You gotta girlfriend?"

"No, why?" he raised an eyebrow at the question. _Why would she want to know that?_

"Just wondering, seems like you'd have girls swarming all around ya," a sly gleam entered her eyes, Trowa recognized them from earlier that day, when she first stepped out of her mobile suit and looked at him._ She certainly is pretty,_ he thought, but quickly snapped himself out of the daydream he was about to enter,_ what am I thinking! I can't make a move on her, Quatre would kill me!_

"Yeah, well, when you change schools every other week, they don't get much time to notice you," he couldn't believe he was talking about this. _She's so easy to talk to, kinda like a best friend or sister, no wonder Quatre likes her so much!_

"I know what you mean, I change schools every six months now, it gets easier the more time you spend here," she got up and sat down next to him on the bed. She, then, reached up and brushed her hand across his face, a bolt of electricity ran up Trowa's spine. Leaning in he nearly kissed her but stopped at the thought of Quatre and how he would react if he had seen them right now. Although Trowa stopped, Zoekurau didn't, her lips brushed lightly against his. 

"We…can't…shouldn't…Quatre," Trowa mumbled uselessly, he knew he shouldn't but he couldn't stop himself. Wrapping his arms around Zoekurau's waist, he kissed her back, roughly. This was something he had never really done before, unlike Zoekurau, Trowa had never made love before. They lay down on the bed, exploring each other's bodies in between passionate kisses. Zoekurau teased Trowa by softly nibbling on his ear while he kissed her neck in amusement. He never noticed the knife handle hidden in her back pocket…

Okay, this is where I'm going to leave you whining for the next chapter. Trowa lovers, don't read the beginning of the next chapter! This will be your only warning! Please tell me ideas on what to do in the next chapter, because other than the first little bit of it, I have no clue as to what is going to happen. I'm 13, yeah, man, this rulz!! It was my birthday yesterday! Bye for now! Remember, you must give me ideas on what to do!! Read my Ronin Warriors story, Circumstances, I don't know what to do in that one either! 


	3. Default Chapter Title

Okay, here we go again! This is the third part of a story I'm writing, hope you like it. I don't own Gundam Wing; I do own my character, Zoekurau and Stephen Sapporo (he'll come in later). I really hope you've read the other two parts, you definitely won't get this if you haven't, so, here we go…

Trowa Lovers- don't hurt me!! Then again, to anyone who loves any of the Gundam pilots- don't hurt me!! Zoekurau will get nicer, I promise! I nearly have the whole plot figured out, yes, that's right; I put whatever comes to me first in these things. In other words, I have absolutely no idea on what to do in the following chapter. 

Duo, you can write another sequel to the first chapter if you want. 

****

Long Ago:

Cha. 3 True and False 

As the first rays of light penetrated the curtains of a window, Zoekurau silently grasped the hidden knife and extracted it from her back pocket where it had been waiting. She held it over Trowa's sleeping form as if she was teasing herself with it. Two seconds from receiving an injury, he smiled in his peaceful sleep, unaware of Zoekurau or anyone else. Driving the knife into his stomach, Zoekurau laughed at the thought of how fun it was to kill and how easy it was to trick these poor fools, who would all soon be dead, into believing she was a friend._ I'm so glad Dr. J made me take those acting classes, they're so helpful in dealing with enemies!_

Trowa immediately awoke to his insides pouring out onto the bed; it took all of his abilities to keep from screaming. He glared up at Zoekurau's laughing face, not believing she had done this. Earlier, she had acted as though he couldn't have meant more to her, he swore at himself for showing any emotion to her. _How could I have let her do that to me?_ Rolling over in pain, Trowa used one hand to try and stop the bleeding, but in vain, the wound was too large and she had pulled the knife out. He brought his other hand up and punched Zoekurau in her face as hard as he could manage. 

She groaned, "You bastard! I do you the favor of killing you and you go and punch me!" 

"Hmm, sure, a favor! Go to hell, bitch!" he doubled over, falling onto the floor. The pain was starting to become unbearable, even for him. The world around him was encased into a cloud of black as he passed out. 

Zoekurau picked him up and dragged him over to a closet. She stopped the bleeding and bandaged the wound as best she could. After tying him to the chair she had sat him on, she kissed his lips. "It's so much more fun to torture someone than to just kill them upright," she said to his silent body. Closing the doors, she left to tell the others that Trowa had suddenly left while she had been sleeping.

--------------------------Romefeller Foundation---------------------

"General Sapporo, we have just received a message from Colonel James," a man sitting at a large computer announced to his commander. The young commander walked over, prepared to communicate with their new ally. He was six-foot tall, dark brown hair, and crystal blue eyes; about 19 and fresh out of battle.

"Zoekurau, good to see you again so soon. What information do you have for us?" he asked Zoekurau's image, to small braids framed her face. Smiling with pride, Zoekurau turned the computer's monitor towards Trowa, who was still tied up. "Good work, you've found the one of the Gundam pilots. Any sign of the others?"

"Yes, I have all of them here. One came, pretending he was someone I knew long ago, the others followed," was her angry response.

Stephen Sapporo nodded in approval, "Mm, hmm, please bring them here, to the Antarctica base. And, Zoekurau, don't kill them."

"Fine, but I wish to dispose off this one and the imposter myself, when the time comes."

"Very well, I don't believe my commander will have any problem with that, as long as Gundam pilot 01 is unharmed," hinting that Zoekurau wasn't to even touch the pilot, unless necessary that is.

"What of the other two? I know what you have in mind with him."

"I don't know, whatever you wish I suppose, at least until we need them. Anything you do will take them to hell and back, most likely. Try to learn anything new, and make sure that no matter what, they will be able to continue piloting" Sapporo smiled; he knew what Zoekurau had in mind. It wasn't possible to know Zoekurau for three years at not learn at least one thing about her. What Stephen had learned was that Zoekurau always got revenge, and that she knew countless methods of torture to get it.

"Will you be sending anyone to help in transportation?"

"If you don't mind, I will be sending three recruits to be of assistance. Don't kill them if you don't want their help!" he answered, remembering the last time they had sent someone to help Zoekurau and she didn't want it.

"Whatever," Zoekurau laughed.

"Alright then, will I see you when you arrive, or will you be start playing with your new "toys" first?" Zoekurau called those she tortured her toys. 

"I suppose I could fit you in first, but not for too long. It has been awhile since I got a new plaything, let alone four. You won't mind if I get in a little physical pleasure, will you?"

"No. I'll see you then, farewell, love." Uncertain what she had meant by physical pleasure.

"You to," she kissed her fingers and pressed them against the screen as they disconnected. Stephen and Zoekurau had been an item for the last two years, but never really got a chance to see each other.

---------------------------The spare rooms----------------

"Morning, sleepy heads!" Zoekurau announced as she slipped into the room Duo and Heero had been sharing. Heero began to stir, and arose very groggy.

"What, now? Didn't we just go to bed," a newly awakened Duo groaned.

"Nope, that was five hours ago." Duo leaped out of his skin.

"What! That's it, five hours! C'mon, I need more than that," he complained uselessly. Heero had already gotten up and went to find the shower.

"Fine, sleep more," Zoekurau answered. She jumped him, knocking him senseless with her pointed elbow.

Quickly, she hauled him out of the room and down the hall to a cell, nearly missing Heero's exit of the bathroom to find a towel.

Zoekurau then opened the door to where Quatre and Wufei had slept. Waking Quatre was easy, a small kiss and he bolted upright, but Wufei was another story. His head at the bottom of the bed, feet hanging of the sides, and an arm lodged under the mattress made it difficult to decide how to attack. After a few minutes of pondering, she just jumped onto his back, sending him screaming in pain loud enough to awaken Duo, although it didn't. Grumbling, he got up and went to find Heero had beaten him to the toilet and shower. Quatre laughed at Wufei and grumbled at the shower being taken also. Instead of waiting, he went to the kitchen to find Zoekurau cooking bacon for their breakfast.

"Bacon? I haven't had that in awhile," he announced, Zoekurau smiled a weak smile at him. "Something wrong?"

"No, I was just thinking of something I need to do before we leave."

"Oh, what is it?"

"Oh, nothing. Could you tell the others that breakfast is on the table? I have to run and feed a pet," she left the room with two plates of bacon and eggs and headed towards Duo's cell.

After breakfast, the three remaining boys raced to finish in the shower so they wouldn't be killed for taking all the hot water. Zoekurau left to go for a walk and went to the waterfall, finding the recruits waiting for her. "I see Stephen didn't loose any time in getting you here."

"Yes, well, he would like to see you as soon as possible," one of the three replied. They were dressed in military outfits and smiles. All of Sapporo's men had to love what they did.

"Have I met you before," she asked the man how had answered her.

"Yes, I believe you have, Colonel James. And it was one of the best moments of my life, I will never forget it," he promptly responded, saluting.

"Flattering Flanders, of course, you haven't changed at all, have you?" she chuckled pityingly.

"No, ma'am!"

"And the others are?"

"Privates Nelson Gourd and Fredrick Grenade," she shook both of their hands, shaking her head in an approving way.

"Did Sapporo want you to do things a certain way," she asked, already knowing that he did.

"Yes, but how were you planning on doing this," Flanders remembered that she always did things her way.

"You do remember me. Hmm, two are unable to anything at this moment; we'll be taking them first. One I'm not sure of, he may cause trouble, he may not. The other two are to be moved with extreme caution," she related their locations and who was who, then set of back to the shack. "I will enter first, wait until I give you a signal to enter."

Upon entering, she found Quatre, Heero, and Wufei sitting at the dining table talking about whether they could trust her or not. Quatre was defending her to the best of his ability, with the other two pitching reasons not to trust her into his face. They also were wondering why Duo and Trowa had left so suddenly, but figured it was because of a mission. "Could you to go see how my suit is coming along, I put it on auto-repair last night?" she asked sincerely. Heero nodded and got up to leave, pulling a complaining Wufei behind him. 

"What's up?" Quatre asked when she turned to him. Zoekurau looked at him apologetically for a minute, then whistled to the three outside. Immediately, they entered, taking Quatre by surprise. He looked to her for help, but found nothing but a pair of metal handcuffs and a swift punch to his stomach. "Take him to the truck, the plan just changed," she ordered one of the men, "you two, follow me."

Walking towards her room, they quickly gathered Trowa, who was still unconscious from the loss of blood. Getting Duo was also a piece of cake, he was awake, but didn't have all his bearings right. Flanders and Gourd deposited both with Grenade and Quatre, then returned to help in the capturing of Heero and Wufei.

Zoekurau called Wufei up to the kitchen saying that OZ had captured his Gundam, he quickly raced into the trap. Gourd pummeled him from the rear, while Zoekurau attacked from the front. Wufei was gagged and bound within three minutes, and as mad as twenty hornets that had just met a swift kick to their homes; it took all three to get him to the awaiting vehicle because of his struggling. Quatre looked at him with pity when he was tossed in; asking why he was even bothering to try to break the bounds made of gundanium and waste energy.

Both Gourd and Grenade were left to watch the prisoners, Zoekurau and Flanders circling back to the house. Heero had come upstairs to find a empty kitchen, with Zoekurau just stepping in. "Where's Wufei?"

"Went to where the others are," she quickly answered, "and the same place you're about to go." She lunged towards him; Heero stepped out of the way of a large punch in the nick of time. "First miss today," she told him for no reason. Flanders took the blunt end of his pistol and brought it down onto Heero's head from behind, sending him to the floor. They secured him in the restraints before he got too much of a chance to recover.

On the way to the Antarctica base, Gourd noted the fact on how easy it had been to capture them. Zoekurau just replied that he shouldn't be saying such things when he didn't truly help in the capture, this shut him up for the rest of the time. She commented that it had been easier than she expected though. 

---------------------The Antarctica Base----------------

"Hello, Zoekurau," Stephen opened his arms to greet her, but she did not do the same, instead appearing to be in deep thought.

"Yes, good to see you to, Stephen. It's been awhile," she replied in an uncaring way. Realizing whom she was talking to, Zoekurau came out of her trance. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking about those pilots."

Stephen shook his head, "Ah, yes, the Gundam pilots! Finally, we will be rid of them, and can move forward in our plans to dominate space!"

"What! You don't mean that you plan to kill them?"

"Yes, just as soon as you bore of them, that is if we have no need of them. Then again, who knows when you're going to need a good test pilot? It isn't like you to care about the lives of the enemy."

"Huh. I guess I'll be leaving you now. See you at dinner tonight," she left him with a small kiss to approach her own quarters. Once she entered, she noticed that the four pilots were tied standing up in her room. They were strapped helplessly to the wall, Wufei fiercely struggling. "Do you like your accommodations?"

"Hmm," Wufei sniffed. The others looked down in defeat, Quatre began to cry softly at how she was acting, _So unlike yourself, what happened?_

"Oh, is the poor little imposter crying," Zoekurau teased his shaking form. "I suppose you all wish to know what I plan on doing to you, well, I'm going to torture you. I find it to be most relaxing." 

Duo stared in disbelief, he had awoken half an hour ago on the long ride over, "What!? You're just going to kill us!"

"No, Romefeller is going to do that, I just get to weaken you," she announced proudly. Walking over to where he was hanging, she pinched his cheeks together and sneered, "Gotta problem?"

"N…n…no," he managed to get out. 

Zoekurau threw his face down violently. Turning, she walked to a china cabinet, opening it to reveal the countless devices she had collected over the last few years. The top shelf was filled with tiny objects, like pins, used to slowly bleed one to death. Thumbscrews covered the left half of the second shelf, with small throwing knives on the right. Third were larger knives, and fourth were slow, painful toxins and acids. The fifth and final shelf had a few odd and peculiar devices that she had found quite interesting, but didn't know the origins or names of. "Which of you shall I start with and how shall I start," she pondered out loud. Running her hand along the third shelf, Zoekurau stopped and picked up a rather beautiful and ornate pewter knife. It was slender and versatile, allowing easy use to stab and to remove. The knife was relatively new and Zoekurau had been aching for a chance to use it.

She walked around looking at each soon to be victim, deciding which would make the hardest blow to the group. Finally, her eyes rested on Quatre, and although she disliked him so, she couldn't help feeling that this shouldn't be happening. Brushing aside all emotions, the knife was brought down quickly, but did not complete its mission. Instead, it stopped a centimeter or two away from his left shoulder. 

Staring in amazement, every soul in the room looked at the quivering hand holding the deadly weapon. The four prisoners couldn't believe that she had stopped when so determined; Zoekurau shocking herself that she couldn't harm him. _How can this be, _she thought,_ he is an imposter who dared bring back painful memories. Why can't I kill him? **Why?**_ She tried again, but made no improvement. 

Frustrated, Zoekurau stalked out of the room. She couldn't believe that she was turning soft, or that she could not inflict pain on someone as helpless as that. Or was that it? Could it be that she couldn't hurt an innocent? 

--------------------------Back in the room -------------------

"Quatre, you okay man?" Duo asked.

"Yeah, she didn't even touch me," he replied, some what amazed.

"What do we do now?" Duo asked.

"Nothing. We can't do anything like this, we'll just have to wait until we get a chance," Wufei announced in a proverb like way. Duo sniffed. 

"Mommy, I don't want to go to school today," they heard Trowa murmur, then turned to stare at each other like he was going insane. "Umm, anyone get the number of that semi?" 

"Which one," Duo teased as Trowa lifted his head to get his bearings straight.

"How many walls does this room have, and how many floors," Trowa asked at the sight of his friends strapped to the walls.

"Four and one," Wufei raised an eyebrow at the question. Trowa nodded, still wondering why the others were hanging on the walls, and why he was.

"Quatre, what happened," he asked innocently.

"Zoekurau," Duo replied.

"Oh, Quatre, how'd you move so fast?"

"I didn't," Quatre said unsteadily, "that was Duo."

"Huh."

"You okay," Duo thought Trowa was going insane, not the way Quatre had, but still insane.

"Umm…night now." Trowa passed out again at the looks of his companions.

"He needs medical attention," Quatre felt sorry for Trowa; the bandage Zoekurau had stopped his bleeding with was old and needed changing. Wufei agreed, and started wrestling with his bonds again.

"Oh, give it UP!" Duo cried.

"Why?"

"You're just gonna wear yourself out, if anyone should do it, I should."

"Why?"

"'Cause I have the most energy!"

"Why?"

"Shut up!"

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"I give up." Wufei stopped struggling as Duo began to.

"God, I can't remember the last time I did that," Wufei smirked.

"Shut up," Duo grumbled in between grunts.

"Why?"

"Don't you start that again!"

"Why?"

"Gr.…"

"Would you guys at least try to get along until we get outta here?" Quatre pleaded.

"Kay," both agreed.

"What are we going to do then?" Wufei asked, looking at Trowa.

"I guess we'll have to wait 'til he gets better," Quatre replied, understanding Wufei's glance.

"What about _us_?" Duo managed to get out.

"What about us," Wufei raised his eyebrows in anticipation to Duo's brainless response.

"Don't we need outtie?"

"Yeah, but he needs it more," Quatre answered.

"How come all you do is care 'bout people?" Duo wasn't using his brain at the present time.

"I guess it's a reflex, what does this have to do with our getting out of this place?"

"Umm… gimmie a minute."

"How long did it take for your brain to get that way anyhow?" Wufei sneered.

Along with a raspberry, Duo sneered back, "Ha, ha, you're quite the comedian." Wufei laughed at Duo.

Quatre sighed, "Please you guys, we _need_ to get him and us out of here as soon as possible."

"Truce?" Duo cast a side ways glance at Wufei.

"Truce," Wufei nodded in reply.

"How long do you think we can last in this place," Duo looked towards Quatre.

"As long as we can I suppose, I haven't had this happen before. Our strength will begin to leave us after a while." 

Trowa began to murmur something about knives and blood, but drifted back into a peaceful slumber before long. "What could have happened to him?" Wufei commented.

"Guess we'll have to wait on that one," Quatre returned.

"Either of you guys notice that button there before?" Duo did his best to point to a small red button marked Service Room. It was just to the side of Trowa's left hand.

"No, what do ya think it's for?" Wufei added.

"Some kind a service. Think he could get it?"

"Maybe, but he can't right now, so we'll have to wait."

"I hate waiting!"

"Too bad."

"Both of you remember that you're at a truce," Quatre warned the other two.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. He started it," Duo replied dryly, looking away.

Silence entered the air for the remainder of the time until Trowa woke up. He asked the questions he had before and started to get back into the feel of things before a half-hour had passed. After relating the tale of his capture, the four discussed what actions should be taken to release themselves.

"What about that weird little button," Duo exclaimed, suddenly remembering the object from earlier.

"What button?" Trowa stared blankly.

"The one by your left hand, can you reach it?" Quatre's hope swelled inside of him at the chance of freedom. Trowa quickly worked to push the red object, and after succeeding, a voice was heard over an unseen intercom.

"How can I be of service, Miss James?" it asked as the four gasped at the loud sound. It had been very quiet, even when they had been talking among themselves before.

"Umm…yes…ah…we…er…I would like a medical kit for knife wounds and someone to apply them for one of my prisoners. Help him, and could I get some food for them?" Duo responded, slowly at first, but fast at the end. He received nods of encouragement from the others as he went.

"Right away, Miss James. Anything else?"

"Ah… no… not right now."

"We will have someone there as soon as possible." Click, the intercom was turned off.

"Cool, it worked!" Duo nearly shouted.

"Thanks, for the bandages that is, but I don't need them, really," Trowa did his best to put on a brave face, only to cringe in pain at the end of his words.

"You do, and I don't care if they have to hold you down to get them on," Quatre commanded.

The much needed supplies and food were delivered a few minutes after the end of the conversation. Trowa felt much better after the bandage had been changed and an ointment was applied to it. The food put smiles on each face, since most had not eaten for nearly twelve hours. Sleep overtook them in a few minutes from the grogginess of the digestion in their stomachs.

-----------------------------Dinner with Sapporo----------------------

Walking into the main dinning room, Zoekurau turned many heads in the tight black dress that reached to her ankles, and was attached to her shoulders by spaghetti straps. Her hair was pulled up into a tight braided bun. Her face had a small amount of white eye shadow and dabs of light pink lipstick with little blush. Stephen, who waiting for her at one of the best tables, jumped to his feet as she came nearer and pulled out her chair out for her. Nodding her thanks, she sat down gracefully and picked up the elegant menu.

"So, Zoekurau, you look lovely as usual," Stephen started the conversation blushing slightly.

"How would you know about usual?" Zoekurau's voice had taken on Heero's monotone.

"I just figured that-" Stephen, startled by her attitude, was only having his foot shoved into his mouth by the woman across the table from him.

"Exactly, you figured, not knew," she answered coldly.

"What is with you tonight?"

"Nothing, just preoccupied."

"Gundam pilots giving you trouble?"

"No…yes…maybe…"

"What the hell do you mean?"

"Nothing, forget it," she waved her hand to dismiss the idea and looked away.

"You okay?" Stephen held his hand out to her, but she promptly refused.

"You know what, I think I'm just gonna skip on dinner," Zoekurau stood to leave.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine! Why can't you people understand that!" Zoekurau stomped out of the room, leaving Stephen to deal with the embarrassment of having been rejected. 

She headed straight to her compartments, entering to the four sleeping captives. She noticed that they had been fed and figured they learned to use the button to the service room, which was fine with her. Trowa was looking better, but his bandages had definitely not been applied to the best degree. Looking out into the hall, she saw three off-duty men and called them over. Sending one for supplies, and the other two to help her get Trowa out off his bonds. Quatre began to wake as she opened a hidden safe in one of the walls; she took out the key to the manacles and a ring, which was slipped onto the ring finger of her left hand. 

After nearly biting both men's heads off, Zoekurau had Trowa lying stiffly on her bed. The first returned with the ordered supplies and Zoekurau told them to leave immediately. All three complained that it was unsafe to have the prisoner free like that and to be alone. She pulled the knife that she had pulled on Quatre earlier and said she was fine in a menacing voice, they quickly left.

Looking over to Quatre, she noticed he was awake and asked if he knew how to treat wounds. He said he did. Zoekurau walked over and, suprisingly, freed him as well.

"Ah, thanks, I think," Quatre muttered, rubbing the feeling back into his wrists.

'Whatever," Zoekurau led the way over to Trowa and began to undress his wound. "Just hand me the supplies as I ask for them, do as I say, and don't touch anything."

They quietly worked for the next ten minutes, Zoekurau asking or ordering Quatre to do something, and him instantaneously obeying. A low moan from Duo stopped their tedious work.

"Quatre! What? How'd you get down? What about her?"

"Shut up, and I might free you too," Zoekurau remarked, Duo shutting his mouth as soon as the words had been uttered. "See that key," she looked at Quatre and pointed to the key for the manacles. As he nodded his understanding, she continued, "Take it and let him down, but only if he doesn't bolt. If he does, lock him back up. I don't need any distractions right now. You can get the other down if you want."

Quatre ran to Duo's side and freed him before Zoekurau even finished talking. After Duo had run around the room nearly screaming his head off and being smacked by Zoekurau to shut up, they helped Wufei, who was still sleeping, down off the wall. Quatre returned to Zoekurau's side, with Duo not far behind, to finish what they had started. 

Trowa's stomach was looking much better, much of the blood had been wiped away and the hole had been carefully stitched up. Putting on the last touches, Zoekurau sighed at what she was doing. _Why is it I always feel that I need to fix everything that I do? I mean, I always turn right back around after leaving the battlefield to help the wounded. Hump, and I'm supposed to be the perfect solider! I can't even kill without feeling a little remorse. Look at this guy, he's so peaceful and yet, I can sense that this war is tearing him apart. At least he has these guys to turn to; I don't have anyone, except Dr. J and he won't care at all if I died. _

"You still have that," Quatre was shocked to see the ring on her finger was the same one he had given her a few days before she left. It wasn't much, just one of those pitiful rings you can get for fifty cents at a grocery store. It had a gold body, the kind that turned your finger green if you weren't careful, and a plastic red heart for the stone_._

"Have what," Zoekurau asked suspiciously.

'That ring, the one I gave you," he pointed to it, she covered it with her other hand and looked at him.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Of course you do, I or Quatre Winner gave that to you a few days before you vanished from the colonies."

"Who told you this?"

"No one, like I said before, I'm Quatre Babara Winner. I gave you that ring."

"I bought this ring, no one gave it to me. You must remember someone else that you gave a ring to. Stop saying that you're Quatre, I know you aren't!" Zoekurau stood with her back to her prisoners so that they wouldn't see the hurt in her face. _How could he have known that? We were alone when Quatre gave me this, and neither of us ever told anyone, he made me promise not to. Did Quatre brake his promise; he'd never do that! What's wrong with me? Why do I want to trust this phony? Quatre is dead, why do I keep having to stop myself from believing that he is alive and standing in front of me? Is it because I want him to be alive? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! I used to have complete control, now everything is crashing down in front of me. Someone help me, please!_

Quatre placed his hand on her trembling shoulder, she turned to shake in of, but couldn't. It was so comforting and warm, like she had just gone in to a blazing fire on a stormy day. Tears ran down her face, the ones that had never fallen with the pain she had hidden inside. She reached up to her face with a trembling hand to feel what these things were, these salty water droplets pouring from her eyes. Zoekurau, having never cried before, thought this was another sign of her life continuing to careen out of control. Quatre began to turn her around when she screamed, "Get away, leave me, now! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Jumping back at the fact she was screaming at them, Duo and Quatre just stared at each other for a moment. Suddenly, both Wufei and Trowa had awoken to the strange sight. They quickly began to move to the open door when Quatre went back. Duo did his best to get Quatre away from Zoekurau, but to no avail. Saying that he was crazy, the other three went to find Heero, who had been locked in a cell two levels down. Quatre announced that he would only stay a minute or two longer and would then secure a shuttle for them to leave on. 

Returning to Zoekurau, Quatre found she wasn't at all like the Zoekurau he had been serving only half an hour ago. This one was like an innocent ten-year-old, who had only wanted to be with those a she loved; the other was a heart made of stone that "nothing" could penetrate. She didn't even bother to look at him when he sat down next to her huddled form. She was looking forward at nothing in particular and thinking of before she had come into the war. "What's wrong?" he was as sensitive as he could be, but still with his guard up. He slowly put his arm around her shoulder.

"I thought I told you to leave me alone," she answered coldly, still looking forward and running threw memories past in her mind.

"I know, but I want to know why you don't believe me when I tell you who I am."

"Because the person you say you are is dead." 

"What proof do you have?"

"Dr. J told me."

"Is he always telling the truth?"

"No," her emerald green eyes shifted slightly.

"Then how can you trust him? Is there any other proof? Have you ever tried to go back?"

"I don't know," her eyes squeezed shut as she mentally slapped herself for not going back and making sure. 

"Why did you keep the ring?" Zoekurau looked at him hard, as if she was trying to decide if he was worth it. 

"As an engagement ring."

"Why an engagement ring?"

"Our parents had been planing on having us marry, since they were so close and all."

"What?! How come I wasn't told and you were!"

"I only heard them talking about it," she completely missed the last part of his statement.

"I loved him so much. More than the rest of my family, I missed Quatre the most when I left and when I was told he had died. Whenever I fight, I fight for him."

"I never knew you cared so much," he looked down at his feet," I loved you too."

"Give it up! I don't want to hear your lies right now."

"Lies? What lies? I'm tired of having to tell you that I am who I say I am and you not believing me!"

"Fine then, prove who you are."

"How?"

"Take me home, if it is still there."

"To the shack?"

"No, to space, to the place I grew up in, to the colony I'm fighting for."

"When do you want to go?"

"Doing anything important anytime soon?" she smiled slightly, tilting her head to one side.

"No," he laughed.

"Let's go then," she feebly got to her feet with a little support form Quatre's arm. "Wait, my collection," she turned back to the cabinet filled with her torture items.

"We can't take them all," Quatre protested as she pulled him over to it and opened the doors. Grabbing something from each section, a total of six items, she closed it and they left.

TA DA! That's my third chapter, now, what the hell should I do for the fourth? When I say I need ideas, I mean it! So send 'em! Or I'll kick somebody's ass, don't ask who. Oh, and criticize as much as you want (this doesn't apply to UMJ or Stardust) 'cause I want it so I can make these things better. Bye now! 


	4. 

Hiya

Hiya! How are all you people doin'? Anyway, hope ya all like this, then again, why would you be reading this if you didn't like the first three? Okay, I'm talking for no reason now so I'll shut up. God, my little brother is annoying! Sorry if there's numbers and signs in the middle of a few words, blame him. Important info at bottom, that is if you plan on reading the rest of this saga! 

Okay, I'm on the ninth page and just realized something: damn, do I like to foreshadow events! If you remember this when you get to reviewing, see if you can guess some stuff that's gonna end up happening! J * it's pretty obivious*

****

Long Ago

Cha. 4 Escaping Destiny

"What is _she_ doing here?" Wufei snarled at the sight of Quatre bringing Zoekurau up beside him.

"She's coming with us to outer space," Quatre answered to Duo's dismay.

"What!? She… she, tried to kill us!" he protested. The group was scurrying down a narrow hall towards the end of the base.

"Yeah, well, you're going the wrong way, and I wasn't trying to kill you, Romefeller was," Zoekurau pointed out.

"What do you mean, wrong way?" Wufei cocked his eyebrows.

"If you're looking for your friend, Heero, he's down two levels and back a ways. See,"she pointed to a square, which represented a cell, on the base map in front of her. "The shuttle area is down that way though," she pointed down another corridor to the left.

"Err… fine, we'll go get Heero and you get a way outta here," Wufei sneered in reply. He and Duo went towards Heero's cell as Quatre and Zoekurau half carried, half-led Trowa to the shuttle area.

"Model FJ17 has more speed, but FJ15 is more evasive and has more weaponry," Zoekurau nodded towards the FJ17 to point out which she preferred in this situation.

"Anything with both?" Quatre asked.

"Umm, might try the G6L9, but we'd really be sitting ducks for mobile suits."

"FJ17?"

FJ17," the two made their way to the waiting shuttle. Once onboard, they quickly punched in the course for the closet colony, L2, and prepared to lift off. By this time, soldiers had been alerted to the escape and were beginning to try and stop the craft from taking off. "Those two better get Heero and fast! I think they've got about five minutes before there's no chance of escape."

"Don't worry, they'll make it," Quatre said reassuringly as Zoekurau sighed.

As if on cue, the missing three appeared in a hidden doorway. They silently raced towards the awaiting carrier, as Quatre opened the main door. Jumping in, FJ17 took off for outer space.

"Her?" Heero managed to get out between pants.

"Yes, she's supposedly coming with us to the colonies," Wufei sneered in his usual tone, "the insolent woman."

"Shut up, before I have to kick your ass!" Zoekurau instantly retorted.

"Like a woman could destroy me," Wufei laughed in return.

"Umm… Zoekurau, why don't you come with me," Quatre slowly pulled Zoekurau away from Wufei and towards the cargo area off the carrier.

"What?!" she half whined, half snarled.

"Look, it wasn't my idea, but I think you should stay here with these on," Quatre picked up a pair of metal handcuffs.

"What!?"

"The guys will be more willing to travel if you're restrained," he added, doing his best to persuade her without using force. There's a special room for you and everything," he pointed towards a cell.

"Fine, I don't need any sarcasm," Zoekurau didn't feel like putting up a fight, even though it went directly against her principles. Quatre opened the cell and placed the cuffs on her wrists. "I can't believe I'm doing this," she muttered to herself as she walked in.

"I'll have the others take turns bringing your meals to you," he added on a cheerful note.

"Goody," she forced a smile.

"Oh, and could I get those things you got from that cabinet before you left?"

"Here," she pulled out the six objects one at a time, handing them over as if they were her children, "but if there's a scratch on any of 'em when I get them back, you will wish I'd never agreed to come."

"You're the one who wanted to come, remember?"

"Shut up," was all he got in reply as the cell's door closed.

"Aren't we in a good mood," Quatre announced to the door, hearing her reply with another shut up from inside. He returned to the others, who were attending to Trowa, as he pleaded that he didn't need it. Duo somehow got him down and was threatening to take Heavyarms for a spin to Oz's front door if he didn't cooperate; this shut Trowa up rather fast (like he needed to be shut up! He never talks!).

"Umm… guys," Duo realized something for once, "where are our Gundams?"

"Oh shit! They're still at the school," Wufei yelled, mentally kicking himself. 

"Don't worry," Heero returned in his usual monotone, "I already reset the course." Everyone present sighed in relief, excluding Heero.

"Where's Zoekurau?" Duo asked, looking at Quatre.

"In a prisoner's cell…" he looked guiltily at his feet, "in handcuffs." 

"Good, that's where she belongs," Wufei commented dryly as Quatre glared at him. Heero was, as usual, typing away at the main computer.

"How long 'til we reach colony L3," Trowa sat up from where he had been laying. Quatre turned to him and began to help him reach a comfortable position.

"Heero continued to stare into the blinking light of the computer as he answered," 2- 3 days, depending on how fast we go. About a day to get the Gundams, another to get to L2, and a third for L4. Might as well take it slow since there isn't really anything to worry about slowing us down since White Fang disbanded."  


"Yeah, and isn't the circus staying at L2 this week?" Duo put in, Trowa nodded and smiled. He missed Catherine and was hoping to see her when they reached the colony.

"What about Zoekurau," Wufei sneered, "won't she want to say something about all of this?"

"No, and why do you care," for once Quatre sounded as though he was becoming very pissed off. The others turned to look at their companion with slightly shocked expressions.

"Umm…okay…anyway, back to the trip," Duo turned to Heero. "What are we going to do about Zoekurau?"

"I say we keep her under a strict watch. Don't let her be alone at any time. You never know what she might try to do," Heero calmly answered. He had been thinking about how she had acted in certain situations and thought that she might try suicide if she felt like she had been backed into a corner.

"Sounds good to me," Duo smiled.

"Good, then you can take first watch!" Wufei sneered, half-laughing to himself.

"What! She'll…she'll try to kill me!" Duo's eyes widened, frightened.

"Lay off, Wufei!" Quatre snapped back at Wufei, slightly frightening the others. Duo pouted as he left to start guard-duty while Wufei continued to smile to himself.

-----------------------------------------Zoekurau's cell block, 5 minutes later-------------------------------------------

Duo entered as Zoekurau began her eighteenth lap around the block's perimeter, gaining speed each time. Her breath had quickened, now a fast sort of wheezing; along with her eye moment, which seemed to be going faster than reasonable. All of this, frankly, scared the hell out of Duo, along with his fear of her killing him. 

She seemed to have the same thoughts of a newly captured wild cat running through her mind. The hand-cuffs were a stiff tracking collar, the cell a cage, and Duo… Duo was the bastard who had done this to her. 

As her reason left her, the cuffs were rammed into the closest corner, breaking from the amount of pressure used. Blood began to cover her hands as the metal cut into the soft, war-hardened skin as she gave a slight moan of frustration, then looked at Duo with blood lust in her eyes. Duo screamed "bloody murder" as he ran like a jackrabbit through the halls to the others.

"What the hell happened to you?" was the first thing anyone could say at the look on Duo's face, it was purely indescribable.

"She…she…Zoekurau…cuffs…wall…bang…blood…me!" an extremely frightened Duo stuttered, nearly fainting with the last word.

"Oh God," both Quatre and Heero raced to the cell, thinking she had tried to break free of the cell, or worse.

They entered finding a confused Zoekurau huddled in the farest corner, holding her wrists, trying to somehow heal them with her tears. Quatre sat down, putting his arms around her gently. Heero just looked at the sobbing mass, feeling pity swell in his throat.

"Shh, don't worry. Everything will be fine now, shh. It's okay," Quatre calmly whispered this into Zoekurau's ears, hoping it would help to calm her.

"The blood," she stammered, holding out her hands, "the blood, everyone I've killed. It won't go away, Quatre, it won't go away! Make it go away, Quatre! Make the blood go away! I don't want to hurt anyone, I never did! I just…I just lost control. It was like a high I kept trying to get off of, but couldn't. The blood won't go away, Quatre, it won't go away!" 

"There's too much blood on my hands! I can't see the skin anymore; I haven't for a long time. I don't deserve to live with this much blood. I don't deserve to live," her body shook heavily from the on-going sobs, still she cried more heavily.

"Shh, it's okay. We'll get the blood off. Don't worry, we'll do it together," Quatre rocked her back and forth, gently gaining control of her movement. He brushed the hair from her eyes as he repeated the last part, "We'll do it together."

"Aww, Kodak moment, " Wufei murmured as he stepped into the room, receiving a blow from Heero soon after.

"You really need some manners," Heero warned Wufei as they both left the room, "want me to teach you?"

-------------------------------------------------Cockpit-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"What happened in there?" Trowa asked from his place on the floor. Duo was huddled into the co-pilot's seat, holding his knees to his chest and still babbling about what he had seen.

"Broke the cuffs, got some bad bleeding. Quatre's in there helping her," Heero sat down in the pilot's seat and began the flight to the old school, he was going to transfer onto the colonies with Zoekurau at L4.

"She gonna be alright?" Trowa looked at Heero hopefully, using a hand to prop himself up.

"Yeah, just her hands and wrists, nothing to serious, missed valuable arteries, couple days rest," Heero's skin changed in the light of the computer as he began transfer procedures.

  
"Good, how about me?" 

Heero glanced at the wound, "Give it a week before you try to pilot or anything too serious."

"Sounds good, will I be doing guard-duty during that time?"

"Why? You want to?" Trowa received a strange look with the question. 

"Yeah. I might just."

"Whatever you want."

"Even after that weakling injured you?" Wufei now gave the strange look.

"I don't think she really meant it," a small smile went unnoticed.

---------------------------------------------Next day, Trowa's watch------------------------------------------------------

"What was with the insane thing yesterday?" Trowa asked the lump on the bed. He had just begun his first shift, which started at 5 am and went until noon. 

"I don't know," the mass, Zoekurau, turned over. She hadn't changed out of the satin dress she had been wearing, nor had she even bothered running anything through her hair. Her eyes wandered, adjusting to the harsh light of the cell, until they landed on Trowa. 

"Don't know much at all, do you?" another smile went unnoticed.

"Not anymore. Do you have any thing I could borrow?" Zoekurau realized what she had been wearing, and suddenly felt very bare._ God, I hope he can't see anything!_

"When the ship lands I will. We're headed for the Quitayen Academy, nearly everything I own is there."

"Hasn't that stopped bleeding yet?" she pointed to the bandage, which was old and blood soaked.

"Almost." _Does she care? Is it possible that she could?_

"Hmm," Zoekurau looked down at herself then at Trowa. _Why is it he can have such a calm composure?_

"What happened?" the question had just sort of popped out, Trowa hadn't meant to ask it, but it had somehow escaped.

"What are you talking about? This," she lifted up her bandaged hands. Quatre had taken up Duo's shift after he had managed to bring her back into sanity, they had worked out the problem with the blood by covering it in heavy bandages, but she could still see it soaking through.

"No," he stumbled on the words. Suddenly he felt very tense, like the air had thickened and become hard to swallow. Every word was a struggle to bring out, "I… I meant the whole running away thing and becoming so… so..."

"Harsh?" Zoekurau thought for a moment, _Why did I do all of those things? I didn't have to leave that day. _"I just never really felt I had belonged where I was on L4, except maybe with Quatre. I was always comfortable and happy around him, but lately…" she shook her head in thought, shifting her eyes toward a corner, " I just haven't felt the same around him."

"I thought you didn't think he was who he said he was?"

"After he told me about the ring, I believed him."

"Oh. So, you don't think you love him anymore?"

She jerked her head up suspiciously, "Who told you I loved him!" 

Trowa blushed profusely, "Well…I…I… just thought if you had felt so strongly about him…" 

"That I loved him? I thought so too, but lately… someone else has caught my attention," Zoekurau turned away to hide her blushing cheeks.

"Why are you telling me all of this?" he felt that she might have been leading him towards another deception.

"Honestly? I don't know, I just have this feeling that I can trust you, and I do need someone to trust right now. Which is interesting in itself really…" again, she drifted of in thought. _Why do I feel this way about him? A few days ago, he was nothing but a stranger, an enemy to me. Or was he ever my enemy? _

"So… who has caught your eye so suddenly," the last subject made him uncomfortable for some unknown reason.

"Oh… no one you would know," Zoekurau answered more quickly than she had meant to, which only made Trowa even more interested.

"Someone on board?"

"I…I can't say," she nodded her head in an I'm- not- going- to- tell- you- anything look.

"Oh, I see, it is someone on board!" Trowa received an I- hate you- but- not- really- look.

"I didn't say that!" 

"Yes, maybe, but you did defend yourself a little to quick. It is someone on board and you don't want them to know about it because you think they don't like you," he gave her an all- knowing look just to gloat, even if it was uncharacteristic of him. He felt he could really relax and have fun around her, and not worry about missions or the others or anything really, just having fun now and enjoying it.

Zoekurau glared in return. "So, Mister Psychic Man, " Trowa gave a small chuckle to the term and received a smile from Zoekurau before she continued, " if you know so much who is it then?"

"Duo?"

"After last night? I don't think so."

Well, I know it isn't Quatre, doubt it, but- Wufei?"

"That arrogant pig! I should hope not!"  


"Heero?"

"Nope!"

"Nothing mean to say about him, huh?"

"Don't really know that much about him."

"True. Well, that only leaves…me! Well…"

She turned her eyes to the ceiling before answering, " Nooooo! Hahaha! Couldn't guess, couldn't guess! I told you it wasn't anyone here!" She pointed her index fingers at him just to annoy him a little more and waved them if front of herself.

"Uh huh, well, are you ever going to tell this guy you like him?" Trowa had a sly look in his eyes, still wanting to know who this guy was…. and how to beat him for her affections.

"Hmmm…. I guess I will if he's with me when I finally go home, that is, if it's still standing. For all I know, Quatre is the only survivor," her eyes teared at the thought of all of the pain she had experienced because of the lie. 

"You okay?" Trowa moved to the cot, and sitting down, placed his arm around her. 

"I don't think I'll ever be perfectly "okay", " she replied leaning in to the warmth of his body.

"Don't worry, everything'll be fine," he brushed here hair out of her face so he could look down into her eyes.

"No, it won't," Zoekurau shook her head in defeat for the first time in six years. "I've always taught my students to never face something that they couldn't defeat, and I can't defeat my past." 

"What do you mean?" his eyes filled with curiosity.

"I don't think I can face going home, I don't want to face the pain of it being gone if it is." She kept thinking of her parents and brother, Teine, all mixed in with memories of her friends and how they could all be buried in a demolished childhood home waiting to torment her.

"But it's still there, nothing happened, you heard what Quatre said," he truly pitied her at this moment, she seemed so weak and defenseless, even if she was known as one the most cold- blooded murders of their time next to OZ and other military organizations.

"I know what he said, I just… I've thought it was gone for so long, it's just a habit now," a tear crawled down her face, Trowa wiped it away.

"I sort of know what you mean, I've never really known who I was or where I came from," he laughed quietly for a moment.

"Then how do you know what you're name is? And why are you laughing?" she looked at him as though for that moment the world evolved around him.

"I was laughing at the fact that Trowa Barton isn't even my real name, I guess you could say I stole it from the original pilot of the Heavyarms. I never even knew who my parents were or how and where I was born. My earliest memories are of the orphanage I grew up in," now it was Trowa's turn to turn away in embarrassment.

"My life sounds like I grew up royally compared to you," her eyes had dried and a small laugh escaped from inside of her. "So, if Trowa Barton isn't your name, what is it?"

"Don't know, probably never will."

"Do you want a family?"

"What do you mean? Finding my family, or creating one?" his left eyebrow raised in suspicion.

"Both," she answered slyly; her characteristic mischievous look entered her eyes.

"Hmmm… I don't know, maybe someday. I would like one, but I don't think now would be a very good time. You know, with all the war and missions and things, wouldn't have much time."

"I know what you mean, I'd like to have a family someday too, even if my original family is still alive," Zoekurau looked at her feet as though it was a bad thing to relate this to Trowa.

"Hungry for breakfast yet?" he had a crooked smile on his face.

"Sure, what's today's gourmet meal?" 

"Umm…. You'll have to ask the Cordon Blue chef."

"Just as long as his name isn't Wufei or Duo," she couldn't imagine Duo cooking and thought Wufei might try and poison it. 

"No way we'd ever let Duo near a stove, he'd burn water before he'd be able to boil it," they laughed at Trowa's comment. "Alright, you fix yourself up or whatever it is that you girls do in the morning, and I'll send in Heero to … keep you company while I fix breakfast."

He stood hearing Zoekurau mutter something under her breath. "What was that?"

"Oh, nothing! Just saying what am I supposed to do about brushing my hair without a brush," she laughed a nervous laugh thinking he had heard her real comment- _What, afraid I'll try and kill myself if you don't baby-sit me?_

"Oh, umm, I'm sure we can scrounge one up somewhere. Heero's probably right outside the door."  


And he was, as soon as Trowa had asked his "favor" of him, he sauntered in to the cell. He had been waiting for something like this, figuring they'd have to leave her for her meals. He glanced at Zoekurau before sitting himself down by the door, which was at the opposite side of her bed.

She seemed to be singing something to herself, a song from years ago, most likely from the twenty-first century. He edged a little closer and was able to hear the whispered lyrics:

__

What makes you touch 

What makes you feel

What makes you stop and smell the roses in an open field

What makes you unclean

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

__

What makes you live 

What makes you cry

What makes our youth run from the thought that we might die

What makes you bleed

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Somebody told me the wrong way

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Somebody told me the wrong way

Blah

Yeah, yeah

What if I died

What did I give

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

I hope it wasn't answered:

So you might live

I hope I helped you live

I hope I helped you live

I hope I helped you live

I hope I helped you live

Live

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Somebody told me the wrong way

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Somebody told me the wrong way

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah 

(~ Creed: Wrong Way~) J It sounds a whole lot cooler when you listen to itJ 

She sang this a total of three times before he interrupted her, saying, "What is that?"

"What? Oh, it's you. The band is called Creed, the song's "Wrong Way". I figured it was appropriate with the circumstances," she stared up at the tiled gray ceiling and sighed. Propping herself on an elbow, she stared inquisitively at his blank expression, "Do you like the way your life is headed?"

"What do you mean?" the question had caught him of guard. What did she want to know?

"Your life, do you like how it's going. You know, being a Gundam pilot and all."

"Oh, why would you care?" He wasn't about to let her penetrate his defenses, even if Quatre trusted his life with her, he definitely didn't.

"I don't know, just curious, I guess. Mine isn't exactly springing up roses, never has. I guess I just want to know if all pilots, assassins, and all the other people in the same positions I've found myself in have felt relatively the same as me."

"So what is your question?"

"Are you happy with your life right now, exactly the way it is?"

Heero had never thought of this before. It caused him to stop to think before answering as he usually did. Before, answers had just come involuntarily, but this time… nothing. "I…I don't know."

"Hmm…neither do I." That questioning look returned to her eyes.

"What now?" his eyes filled with skepticism.

"Do you have anyone?"

"What?!"

"Do you have anyone? To fight for, to go home to, anyone like that?"

"Why would I? They'd only get in the way," he turned his head away indifferently.

"Hmmm… I thought every good solider needed someone to fight for…"

"I fight for the colonies."

"I guess that works. I wonder if that's what happened to me, I lost what I was fighting for," her head tilted in thought. "Then again, who was I fighting for in the first place? No one cared about my life or me once I left, so what was my purpose?"

"You were just a tool of destruction, not needed, and discarded once used," Heero pointed out.

"Yes, yes, you're right, of course you're right," but she didn't agree, "how could the perfect solider be wrong?" 

"I'm not the perfect solider; far from it," he retorted, "I might as well be a tool, to be forgotten after having served its purpose."

"No, you're wrong. You won't be forgotten, you couldn't be; you've done far too much for this world to ever be forgotten. I, on the other hand, will easily fade into text books."

At that moment, Trowa entered the room with Zoekurau's breakfast, ending any chance of Heero's inquiring to what she meant. "Thanks, Heero, I appreciate you doing this for me."

"Sure, whatever," he stood with a half- thoughtful look upon his features.

After Heero had left, Trowa turned to Zoekurau with the tray and asked sarcastically, "Alright, what have you done now?"

"Hmm?" her eyebrow raised.

"To Heero, what did you do to him?" his face turned to disapproving granite.

"N.n..nothing! Honest! I..I.."

"I'm just kidding. Jeez! You're worse than Catherine," he laughed slightly and placed the tray in front of her. "So, where were we?"

"Ah, something about families," she answered, licking her lips at the tray. Even plain old raisin-bran looks good if you haven't eaten in thirteen hours. "Hand over the food now!"

Trowa placed the tray in her lap with a laugh. "Bon appetite, madam." With that he sat and watched her inhale the soggy flakes and wrinkled grapes (blah!!!) 

He smiled, remembering his first meeting with her and how different she seemed, which was not nessecarily all for the worse. He couldn't help looking her over once or twice and comparing her to other girls he knew, of course, he immediatily slapped himself mentally for this. Something about her kept commanding his attention, and it was driving him crazy. The hole in his stomach reminded him of her treachery but there was still a bigger yearning to get to know more about her, even if it killed him. 

__

I must remember my duty as a Gundam pilot above all. I have missions to complete and other such tasks that she or any other girl would get in the way of. Why can't I stop thinking about her? Good God, Trowa, snap out of it! As soon as we get to L2 you'll be leaving anyway, so hurry up and get control of this! He repeated over and over again.

"You have any cards with you?" Zoekurau suddenly broke his thoughts.

"Huh?" he looked up.

"Cards? Do you have any?" she replied, clearly peeved.

"Not on me. Is there a problem?" 

"No, just the fact that I've asked you that at least fifty times now."  


"Oh, sorry, I wasn't paying attention," he looked down to return to his thoughts.

"Uh…hello! Earth to Trowa! I'm done." She waved her arms in the air.

"Oh, ah…I'll get that later." He waved her off.

Zoekurau sighed, blowing air out of her mouth toward her bangs. "Bored, bored, bored. How much longer until we get to that academy place?"

"What? Oh, about an hour or two." His eyes narrowed into slits, "Why?"

"I wanna change out of this monstrosity," she answered pointing at the satin dress. "I hate wearing dresses."

"Then why did you put it on?"

"Stephen likes his women feminine," Zoekurau answered with a harsh note.

"I'm still not seeing why you put it on. You don't seem like the kind of person who would necessarily do something to please someone."

"How else can I find out what he's planning. Stephen one of those people who will give out anything in the heat of the moment, easy pickings," she sneered.

Trowa looked up, shocked, "You've slept with him?!" 

"What! No! Jeez, what gave you that idea?" 

"The heat of the moment?"

"Yeah, battle."

He released his breath. "Oh, you scared me for a moment there. It's rare to find someone so young no longer a virgin in this day and age, even if it hasn't been before."

"Hmm, I wouldn't imagine something like that bothering you."

"You don't know me too well then." he looked down and muttered, "No one does."

Zoekurau moved off of the cot and across to Trowa. She kneeled in front of him and placed a hand on his cheek. "I'd like to," she smiled.

Smiling also, he replied, "As long as I get to know you too."

"Of course." 

They moved closer, their lips nearly touching. Neither had ever felt this sort of intensity. Emerald green met emerald green in silence as they were both wrapped in a comforting air. Zoekurau couldn't help but wish he would someday feel for her what she felt for him. She had only known him for a few weeks and yet… she had known him for an eternity. He seemed to know how to react to everything she did and said. When she pushed away, he came closer; if she cried, he smiled and made the world shine. She was in love. _But how can that be? How is it possible for me to care about him? I tried to kill him! Even if I died for him he would hate me anyway. Probably doesn't even like me, he's only acting this way because I'm sitting in here caged. _She looked away.

He sighed and turned her face back toward his and smiled, "Do I have to spell everything out for you?" He leaned in and gently kissed her lips. _I can't believe this. A day ago, she held my life in her beautiful hands and held it quite loosely in fact, but now… she doesn't even seem like the same person. How is it possible for me to care about her? She tried to kill me! And yet… I can't help loving her. Did I just say love? Is it possible for me to love someone? _

A tear escaped her eyes as she leaned back. Trowa quickly brushed it away. "No more tears," he whispered.

Zoekurau smiled and stole a quick kiss. "I can't help it. Just knowing that…" she couldn't continue for fear of spilling out the fact that it was for him that she had feelings. Dr. J had taught her too well that emotions such as these useless for those in their position. 

"What? That you kissed me when there's Quatre?" he chuckled, thinking about his own thoughts. "Hmm?"

"No," she shook her head, "no. Just that I'll never be able to be truly happy in this life. I'll never be able to love freely. If I did, those who I love would perish. My love kills."

"Stop that!" he replied forcefully, shocking her. "You were lied to, got it! Your family isn't dead, nor are your childhood friends. And besides, who's going to kill a Gundam pilot?" 

She continued staring at him, wide eyed. "What do you mean? "Who's going to kill a Gundam pilot"? Quatre…" she struggled with the words, "or you?"

He looked away for a moment pondering. _Zoekurau, how would you handle the fact that I love you? I don't even know if you care for me, especially after that night. And I may never know. Is this all because we're both so love-starved? Am I just imagining she needs me too, or does she really? I've never felt this strongly for someone, even after knowing them for years. Could I really love her?_

"I guess I mean…" he stopped for a second, having trouble believing that he was actually going to answer. "Me."

She couldn't believe it. _He actually cares for me! Even after I tried to … He actually cares! Thank you! Thank you!_ "You mean you can actually stand me? I thought you would never even like me after what I tried to do to you."

"I don't understand it myself," he answered. 

"Then how do you know that you do care?" she wilted. _Why can't I ever find someone to love? Why can't I be happy for once?_

"I don't. But neither do you. And, in truth, I have never felt this way about anyone before," he was hoping she felt the same.

She smiled, "Of course you don't, or me. How can we at this point in time?"

"Hmm…" he leaned in to kiss her once more. 

Just before they met, Duo opened the door to take over the watch. His eyes went wide in astonishment at the fact that Trowa was setting himself that close to Zoekurau. "Ahhhhhhh! What are you doing!" he yelled, alerting the two to his presence and dropping the tray he had brought her lunch in on. 

Both fell backwards, stuttering and surprised. "Wha? Duo? What are you doing here?" Trowa exclaimed.

"I' supposed to watch her now," he then decided to torment them a little, pay back for last night, "unless you would like to continue?" 

"No. That's fine. I should change this dressing anyway," Trowa stood and headed for the door. He left without a word.

Duo and Zoekurau watched in silence as the door closed. Duo gulped, he was now alone with someone whom he thought would at any moment spring up and try to murder him. "So…" Zoekurau started. Duo jumped.

"What?" he said suddenly, finally taking a chance to look at her. True, she still had all the power and strength that she had had the night before, but now…. there was no way to tell. Her hair had become limp from lack of care and her eyes had dark circles beneath them from a fretful sleep. She sat huddled on the floor before him, shaking. Not from cold, but from fear; thoughts of her family haunted her almost constantly. 

"Is that lunch on the floor?" she answered timidly. 

"Oh, yeah, sorry," he stooped to see what was still salvageable, not much was. "I guess I'll have to go get some more. Umm… be right back."

He opened the door and slipped out as she lifted herself up and headed back to the cot. After closing the door, he turned to see Heero looking at him questioningly. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Ah! Heero! I'm just going to get Zoekurau some lunch!" Duo replied, laughing to cover his nervousness. 

"Hmm… fine. I'll stay with her."

Heero entered the cell. Zoekurau was sitting on the cot again, although she wasn't singing this time. "I've been thinking about what you said to me earlier," he began, surprising her.

"Huh? Oh, that…" she looked down.

"Hmm…" he answered, seeing that she didn't want to talk. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes before she looked up again. "Thought of any answers?"

"No. I can't make any sense of anything."

"At least I know someone knows how I feel," she smiled faintly.

"Maybe. What did you mean by saying that I would never fade into the textbooks?"

"You've done to much to just be seen as another to help end this. You're a Gundam pilot. How could anyone forget you? Or Duo, or Quatre, or Trowa, or Wufei? Oz's soldier's will be remembered by loved ones, of course, but they're only men and women in the casualty lists. Same with the Alliance and White Fang, no one will really remember them. But you, the Gundam pilots, how can you be forgotten?"

"What of you? You're a Gundam, in a way."

"How? By the fact that I fight for the colonies? No. I won't be remembered. I'm the same as with the large military powers, a casualty, when I die that is. You, yourself, didn't even know of me, did you?" 

"No, I didn't. None of us did."

"Of course. And if no one knows I exist, how can I be known by all?"

Once again, someone came and interrupted their conversation at a point where Heero needed clarification. Duo walked, or at least he was trying to, in with a broom and dustpan, along with Zoekurau's lunch. "We'll finish this later," Heero said before stepping out of the door.

Duo cocked his head, "What was that about?" He placed the try on the cot next to her and moved to the other side of the room.

"Nothing, just a friendly conversation," she answered dryly. She turned and began to ingest the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

"OoooooKay," he answered.

"What are you scared of?" she asked, amused.

"Just the fact that you're going to try and kill me."

"How would I do that? You've made sure not to give me any silverware I see."

"Well, you can still strangle me, or beat me to death."

Zoekurau raised an eyebrow, "Why would I even want to kill you?" 

"I don't know, I'm so loveable! (Hey Aaron, does that sound familiar?)" Duo answered.

"Yeah, you think that…"she nodded with one of hose sure- whatever- you- say looks.

"I am!" he continued, "how can anyone not like me (that's what I'd like to know!)?"

She just raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I am," he stuck his tongue out to give her a raspberry.

"Humph, if only we all could afford to behave so childish," she murmured, lost in her own little world.

"Hey! I resent that!" he stood.

"Really? Why?"

"Just because I try to ignore all of the bad things in life doesn't mean I'm being childish! Until recently, all I've done is experience bad things, and I decided a long time ago that I would always have a cheery disposition!"

"What could you have possibly gone through in order to even begin to relate to me?"

"My parents _were_ killed in the war. I lived on the streets, were my only friend, Solo, died from a disease that was raging through the colonies and few could afford the vaccine. His last words were, "I'll always be with you." That's how I got my name, Duo. 

"Then, I was taken in by a church, the Maxwell Church, which explains my garb. The priest and nun there took me in as their own. She was who first braided my hair. Later, Alliance soldiers came and raided the church, threatening to kill everyone. I wanted to save my foster family and went to steal a mobile suit since they said that if I got one they would let them live. When I returned to the church, it was in ruins, Father was dead, and Sister Helen died in my arms.

"Soon after, I was found by the creator of the Gundam Deathscythe and Deathscythe Hell. Then I came to Earth and met up with these four. I'm hoping to finally be through with it all soon." 

He had spoken about the past through gritted teeth, anger coursing through his veins. His sadness mixed in and had taken control by the end. Tears welled in his eyes. 

Zoekurau looked on in sympathy, thinking of her own past and how insignificant it seemed to the pain he had been submitted to. "Too much death, too early," she answered to his form. She rose and walked over to his hunched form. 

He shuddered under her touch, but was grateful for the warmth of another human being. He leaned toward her, _Even if she is a killer; she's human to, and all humans need love. Zoekurau just hasn't been able to experience true love yet, even from her parents; otherwise, she wouldn't have left home. _

They embraced, and Duo couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He buried his face in her chest as she stoked his chestnut tresses in a hope of calming him. "Shh… shh…" she whispered. 

They stayed in that position for some time as Duo continued to weep and even after he had finished. Duo needed something to cling to; Zoekurau just needed to feel the warmth of another human being. And at some point, they both realized they had found in each other a best friend. 

Zoekurau was the first to break free. Pulling back, she announced, "I guess you win. You have been through much more than I have." 

"No, I'd say we're even," Duo's voice was lower and didn't include his happy- go- lucky tone. It sounded more like Heero's voice.

"But you haven't anyone."

"I have the other guys, even if it doesn't seem like it. And there's you, hopefully; if you don't kill me," he chuckled, but his heart wasn't in it as usual. "Besides, to have been told your family's dead and then to have to go to Earth to live out your days in solitude isn't exactly what I'd call paradise."

"Neither is having to see your loved ones die and then go to Earth."

"Yeah, well," he stuck his arm behind his head in his characteristic way," this could've been worse. I could be dead, and from what I hear, it hurts like hell." (Heero said, "Yeah, well, let me tell you something, death hurts like hell," in the manga after self- detonating, Trowa laughed)

"Hmm…" Zoekurau looked down. "I guess we would know."

He squinted at her. "What'cha mean "I guess we would know"?"

"What? Oh, nothing."

"No, no, you… you've nearly died before haven't you?"

"Maybe," she flashed her left wrist at him. Across it could be seen a deep scar, one that had been self- inflicted.

Duo sat in stunned silence. A knock was heard on the door and Quatre's voice filled the room, "We're arriving at the Quitayen Academy. You want to bring her out to stretch her legs, Duo?"

"Ah… ah…yeah, sure," he managed.

Zoekurau stood and walked to the door. Duo remained as he was, still trying to get things to compute. He finally shook his head, clearing it and rose like an android to open the door. They left silently.

------------------------------------- Quitayen Academy, i2mir, Turkey----------------------------------------------------------------

"So…. What should we do first?" Quatre asked from behind of Trowa, Heero, and Wufei. Behind all of them trailed Duo and Zoekurau. They had entered the academy and were en route to the dormitories.

"Get our things and then to leave a note of absence at the front office."

"But, Heero, aren't you leaving this academy?" he continued.

"Yes, they already have my transfer papers."

"Oh."

Silence reigned as they continued on for the next few minutes. The dormitories loomed ahead, the brick having partially crumbled from age. No one could be seen as they advanced, and a few leaves tumbled across the walk.

Duo still walked in a trance, unbelieving of what he had just learned. Quatre seemed uneasy at the Academy, the cause of no one knew. Trowa's impressions were, as usual, unintelligible. Heero had concern and concentration etched into his grave features as he stalked purposely toward the building. Wufei could have cared less as he sauntered along beside the group. Zoekurau followed slightly behind the rest. She clutched herself in the chilly breeze and plodded hopelessly, a plan forming in her mind. 

/:/ End chapter four. I was going to end it in this chapter, but I figured it was long enough already so… umm… yeah. Remember to "be a responsible reader" and review this. The last chapter hasn't completely formed itself in yet, so if you have any ideas, I'm still willing to use them as long as they don't interfere with mine. Even if you don't have any ideas, try and guess what's going to happen. Remember all the foreshadowing I was talking about near the beginning, I think I might have give it all away actually, but oh well.

Also: After I finish the Long Ago series, I'm going to continue it with another author, Lady Jo, by joining it with one of hers. I don't exactly remember what she was planning on calling it though, so just search her and see. I f she doesn't have it up yet (I don't know why she wouldn't, she's been writing it for longer than I have this series), just review something of hers and tell her to get a move on. 

Thanks. Talk to you next time. Lady Kiara. 


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